PEEK-A-BOO

So today I am thinking about appropriate Yoga attire.  I just got my most recent issue of Yoga Journal and those slim, muscular, "yoga butt" 20-something models are so inspiring.  They all look fabulous in their print spandex yoga pants (black is so last season!) and little halter tops.

I know my meditation practice is suppose to help me dissolve my Ego, but when I dress for Yoga class, Ego seems to be looking back at me from the mirror in spite of my best meditative mantras.  I generally choose among two or three pairs of comfortable pants.  Two out of the three are, admittedly, black (Call the Fashion Police!) and one is gray; no colorful prints.  A halter top would scare the other students, so I usually choose a Yoga Circle T-shirt or, on days when I feel a bit more coverage over the "abs" is called for, I don one of my baggy T's.

My favorite T-shirts are V-necked or boat necked and the one I wore today (baggy and comfy) has maybe a slightly lower V-cut than is a good idea for Cat-Cow pose.  As I looked down I could see, at least from my vantage point, a fair amount of cleavage showing.  I took a quick glance across the room to see if anyone else seemed to notice and all were discreetly concentrating on perfecting their asana alignment.   Still….

It reminded me of a Yoga On The Beach class my husband and I took at a vacation resort in Hawaii.  Our instructor was right out of Yoga Journal, which wasn't intimidating at all.    Everything was going along fine, until about two-thirds of the way through class I noticed that her scoop-necked spandex top was scooping way too far south and in danger of the big reveal.  I glanced at my husband, who glanced at me, and we both turned to give our instructor our full attention.   I was holding my breath in sympathetic embarrassment; perhaps my husband was holding his breath too, but likely for a different reason.

Before long, sure enough, 'pop'!  One side of her top slipped below the Mason Dixon and her bosom went full Rebel on her.  But, professional that she was, she never skipped a beat, not even acknowledging the errant body part.  She simply reached up from her Upward Facing Dog pose, pulled her top back in place, and just kept talking.  I was quite impressed with her poise.  My husband seemed to take a renewed interest in going to Yoga classes that week.

Well, anyway, I'm glad nothing like that happened to me today.  I just kept yanking my shirt up and wishing I had a safety pin.  I'll continue to dress for comfort; style be damned. ©

Namaste…donnajurene

Photo Credit: Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_vanilladesign'>vanilladesign / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

IN THE BEGINNING...

                                                                                    Dear Yoga Circle Studio,

I love you.  I have loved you since before I even met you.  I have loved you since the days when  all my friends, when I asked about local yoga studios where I wouldn't feel like a doofus as a beginner, said, "You should go to Yoga Circle in Snohomish."

So, one afternoon about 7 years ago,  I did just that.  I spread out my cushy new mat in the very back corner, hugging the wall by the restroom, and set about learning this thing called yoga.

I had tried before, on various and sporadic occasions at retreats where yoga was offered as an "add on", but it wasn't the main event.  Mostly I hated it.  Well, OK, I hated myself.  I was overweight, weak, out of shape, and uncoordinated.  The simplest poses were too hard.  I told myself, and anyone who asked, "I don't do yoga.  I don't get it; it's dumb."  Then I headed off to the gym for a "real" workout (also sporadic.)

But when I heard the "do what feels right" message at Yoga Circle, it kept me coming back.   Still, my natural tendency to berate myself reared its ugly head, especially in the early months of practicing.  I had a terrible time learning the poses -- always gawking at the teacher and the other students, trying to figure out where this foot and that arm and the other leg were supposed to be.  I tried not to hunch my shoulders or grit my teeth.  I was stiff and heavy and out of breath.  My arms and wrists were limp and sore.

Sometimes, when we assumed Child's Pose I was so relieved, I cried.  I cried over the body I hated; I cried because I "couldn't do it", and also cried with relief at the little peek I saw into the possibility that this practice might be a way to connect below the neck, to become whole in body, mind, and spirit. 

Now when I see a novice come in to the studio --  heading to the back of the room, maybe feeling confused -- I wonder what they are thinking and if they are as unsure as I was at the beginning.  It is an act of courage to "take action on our own behalf", as Karen reminds us in class so frequently.  This wisdom is my daily mantra in so many instances now and I hope those new students will keep coming.   Taking action on our own behalf is worth it.  Really.

Now I consider myself a practitioner of Yoga.  And "practicing" is the perfect word for an imperfect student.  Some days I feel strong and agile.  Others I feel as weak, stiff, and uncoordinated as the day I first walked through the door.  I have come regularly and, at times, not so much.  (Getting out the door is the hardest part of the practice some days!)  I'm not super young, exceedingly slim, nor ultra fit.  I've never been an athlete, and yoga really is about the extent of my physical pursuits.  I'm like a lot of people -- just trying to stay in some semblance of decent shape as I grow older, while trying to find practices that feed my soul.  Yoga is it for me.  Marathon running is not.

Karen Guzak, teacher and studio owner at YCS has read my yoga-related posts from another blog I write www.myviewfromhere-donna.blogspot.com and has linked them to her website occasionally.  Recently she asked if I'd write a separate blog about the studio and my practice.  

Full Disclosure: This is that blog.  Our agreement is that I will be honest and I will tell the truth about my experiences with yoga and with the studio.  There might be topics and opinions about which she and I disagree, but I still get to write about them.  Our hope is that readers will find some experiences in common with me and will be reassured, motivated, and enthused about their own practices.   

Plus, if you can't laugh at yourself, you can at least laugh at me -- you will find that any balancing pose  I attempt is especially humorous to behold!  Maybe there will be pictures…  

Namaste…donnajurene

Photo Credit: Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_vukvuk'>vukvuk / 123RF Stock Photo</a>