NOW BEGINS THE STUDY OF YOGA....

The first Yoga Sutra lays it right out there...."now begins the study of Yoga".  And you might think the next Sutra will show you how to do a perfect Pigeon Pose. Au contraire!  Asana is barely mentioned in the Sutras.  It's all about how to still the fluctuations of the mind.  In ancient Indian times, Yoga was about the spirit.  Ayurveda was about the body.

My true study of yoga began on January 10, 2019 when I stepped into the first session of a 200 hour yoga teacher training, taking coursework toward my registered yoga teacher certification.  I completed that course yesterday, July 30, 2019.

It was a journey I never expected; a path that challenged and surprised me.  I was overwhelmed at times, joyful and curious at times, sad at times, exhausted a lot of the time, unsure, unsteady, and doubtful any of it would lead to anything but time and money spent on something I'd soon ignore.

Um...shows you how much the Ego knows!  I'm still processing where this path has led me, but I know in my bones (anatomy!) that I am changed.  I did not go into this a complete novice.  I've practiced yoga for 11 years, I've meditated for almost as long (sporadically), I've done lots of reading and chanting and hanging out with people who share the spirit of Yoga.  Yet, this deep dive has been the unifying force I needed to bring it all under one umbrella.

In addition, my adult-life passion for personal growth work has been expanded exponentially.  I get it all now, not just on a psychological level, but a spiritual one.  It feels like a clean slate, like heaviness has been lifted and Light is shining in.

And I've made new friends of all ages.  When one reaches a certain age, it is harder and harder to meet and become friends with people.  Well, that has been my experience.  I'm not in the paid workforce; I don't attend a church; my PTA days are behind me; I am cordial with my neighbors but we mostly wave and chat briefly when we see each other.  I am involved in politics, but that is a one-topic "friendship" for the most part.  But in this yoga training we were all in the trenches together, no one person more skilled, more confident, more knowledgable than the next.  We supported each other, cheered each other on, held each other in vulnerability and in joy, shared about our families, our lives.  What a surprise!  I didn't anticipate finding this in the training.

Our teachers/mentors were unfailingly supportive as well.   With wisdom, knowledge, experience, humor, and empathy we were led on a journey of discovery and learning.  It wasn't easy.  The monthly intensive weekends, and the culminating 4 day Learning Retreat, were truly intense.  I went home exhausted.  We had textbooks and homework.  If we missed a session we had to make it up on our own dime with a private session.  Homework was due on time and evaluated.  We didn't receive a grade per se, but we needed to demonstrate proficiency and complete all the required hours and assignments.

Going into it, I thought I'd take the course to deepen my own practice.  I thought I'd challenge this sometimes lazy brain with new learning and knowledge.  I thought it might be sorta fun.

It was all of that....and indescribably more.  I feel eager to continue to study, to prioritize the many aspects of yoga and incorporate them in all I do, and to (dare I say it?)....teach!

I don't know where or when or how I will manifest the teaching goal, but unlike the first time I stepped up to teach part of a practice in class, unsteady and unsure, I am now (with some thought and preparation) confident I have something to offer others and sharing what Yoga can give us motivates me to try.

For those of you who may be interested, I believe this course will be offered again in 2020.  Just. Do. It.

Namaste, donnajurene
Photo: Me and my certificate with our instructor Elizabeth Gray at the Family & Friends "Grad" Party.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

YOWZA!  Time is on hyperspeed!  I'm just writing my first July blog post on nearly the eve of August!

I have a good excuse.  This is the last month of my yoga teacher training course.  I had to write a research paper and develop an asana practice to go along with it.  I had a 3-page, multi-part take-home final to complete.  I had to rehearse the abbreviated asana practice from my research that I will be required to teach to the entire class and the instructors at the 5-day culminating yoga training retreat that begins today.

I just did a run-through, again, of my teaching practice.  I'm generally not at all nervous about talking to crowds, which is weird for an introvert such as myself, but I find it much easier than making small talk at a party one on one.  Anyway, having talked to some of my sister yoginis, I realize we are all a bit nervous.  This is it.  We are teachers, teaching.  Gulp.  I even mentioned to one of our instructors that I hoped I didn't screw this up.  She very gently looked me in the eye and said, "And what if you do?"  Is being perfect what yoga is about?  Is our Ego what needs to shine?

She called me again to the real practice of yoga....that elusive idea that we are not the Ego.  We are deeper and more Universal than that.  We are the "Observer" who watches the Ego self act in the world, worried about performance, or whether our friends like us, or how much we weigh, or what kind of car we should buy....all the cares of the material world that take up our attention, cause us stress, and give us a stomachache come not from the vastness of the True Self, but from the human self Ego construct.

In Yoga talk, the Sanskrit word for the "me" I think I am is Prakriti.  It is the big sack of history we carry on our backs everywhere we go filled with our DNA, our life experiences, our thoughts, traumas, religion, joys, angers, hurts, relationships, etc.  These are the things we think we are.

But guess what?!?  We are not those things.  Oh, our human life is made up of those things; our consciousness attends to those things; we do live in the material world and must deal with these material concerns.  But mindfulness calls us to know that beyond these concerns we can find Purusha, Pure Awareness.  This Awareness is our Inner Observer -- that which lives within and outside the everyday consciousness.

Being able to tap into this Purusha allows us to put down the sack and find inner calm, inner peace, relief.  It definitely takes practice.  Yoga is that practice.  The poses and the breathing are all designed to help us find a quiet place inside -- what many call meditation.  And sometimes I find that peace in a sitting meditation.

What's more miraculous to me is finding it in the midst of the Prakriti noise.  Sometimes I can mentally step back from all that's going on around me, and find myself observing it all as if from afar.  At these moments I realize that the still, quiet "Self" inside is the real deal, the unchanging essence of "me".  That outer "me" is just a noisy, stressful, impermanent, worrisome jangle of experiences that come and go, come and go.

So this weekend I will be called upon at some point to lead and to teach.  I will take a deep breath and step forward, my outer Ego self probably still hoping to do well, and my Inner Self knowing that how I "do" has no bearing whatsoever on the "being" of me.

May we all find our Purusha and find peace.

Namaste, donnajurene

YOGA IS LIFE

A friend recently asked me, "So what is it about yoga that draws you back, over and over, to the practice?"  I paused...then just started talking, as I often do when processing my thoughts out loud.  Here's sort of a summary of what I came up with.  I wonder if you can relate?

In Western culture yoga is all about the pose, the physical performance of a body trick; about "exercising" and changing the shape of one's body (yoga butt!).  It's about finding flexibility and strength and at a certain age, hoping yoga will stave off the aches and pains that threaten to slow us down.  These are incredibly worthy goals and I had the same when I started to come to yoga classes a little over a decade ago.  

What I've come to realize since then is that for me, yoga combines so many of the things I have explored in separate spiritual practices:

I once worked with a yoga/meditation teacher who led our little Sangha in occasional explorations of Pranayama -- intentional breathing techniques designed to elicit various responses from the nervous system.

A different meditation teacher taught me to meditate using a Sanskrit mantra to focus my mind, it being based on some elaborate and to me undecipherable interpretation of my birth moment in Vedic Astrology.  I like my mantra and I still use it.  I've also studied Mindfulness Based Meditation to calm my anxious nature.

I was drawn like a groupie to a rock band when I first heard a recording of Kirtan.  I found the experience of chanting to the Divine (in Hindu tradition) to be exhilarating and deeply moving.  I've gone to workshops, concerts, living room Kirtans, and taken a course of study called "Sound School".  I still absolutely love Kirtan and have favorite Kirtan artists.

I've been a lifelong seeker of knowledge about the inner workings of my mind and heart and curious about how my life experiences inform the decisions I make on a daily basis.  I've been deeply involved with Jungian-based personal growth work, both as a participant and a facilitator.

All of these practices twisted and twirled around each other, at times one being more prominent in my life than another, but "there" nonetheless.

When I deepened my understanding of Yoga by taking teacher training, I discovered I've spent my adult life preparing to find integration of my spiritual and psychological searching within yoga.

The Eight Limbs of Yoga incorporate all of it.  Each limb is distinct, yet cannot truly stand alone if one is a dedicated yogi/yogini.  They are practiced simultaneously and one informs the other in a dance of completion.

The Eight Limbs:

Yamas -- Universal Moral Constraints: how we interact with the world around us (the most well known of these is to practice non-violence)

Niyamas -- Personal Observances: how we live our lives with integrity and spirit

Asana -- Postures: the poses we are so familiar with, to help our bodies ready for meditation

Pranayama -- Mindful Breathing: controlling the breath for a certain effect

Pratyahara -- Turning Inward:  withdrawing the senses to attend only to the present moment (eyes closed)

Dharana -- Concentration:  focusing attention, perhaps on the breath, a mantra, a candle, an image; to prepare for meditation

Dhyana -- Meditation:  a merging with the object of concentration such that one feels completely relaxed and at ease, no longer engaging in the Monkey Mind of the physical Ego self

Samadhi -- Union of the Self with the Object of Meditation; the Seeker become the Seer -- merging with higher consciousness without Ego; finite becomes infinite (some see this as the final passing of the physical mind/body; some as the ability of Enlightened Beings to completely and simultaneously inhabit two worlds -- the physical and the spiritual)

For me, the first seven limbs are achievable with practice, the eighth seems, at this point, to be in Guru territory for sure.  But yoga doesn't set any one above another.  We are all one -- manifestations of Universal Consciousness.  

And if your belief system finds that kind of talk a little weird or wrong, that's OK.  As one of my favorite Kirtan artists reminds her widely varied audiences, "We're not trying to convert anybody here"... She says the mantra/music/chant just gives us a place to rest our weary minds.  

For example, through Kirtan or chanting (Dharana) we might find we prefer our eyes closed (Pratyahara), and in so doing, find moments of deep peace (Meditation).  Our (Asana)-toned bodies will be strong and supple for sitting while enjoying the experience.  The singing chant will naturally demand that our exhale is longer than our inhale (Pranayama) as we sing out, thus relaxing the nervous system.  The words and music may become so much our focus that all else falls away (Dhyana).  And all of this will encourage a loving, giving, compassionate re-entry into the physical world as we interact with others (Yamas) and continue to know and nurture ourselves (Niyamas).  And with enough practice, I trust that Samadhi awaits as well.

Why yoga?  Because, for me... Yoga is Life.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com

FORT COMFORT

At Yoga Teacher Training this month we spent a day learning about "restoratives".  These are poses which basically involve lying down on pillows and being covered in blankets.  I know what you're thinking..."My kind of yoga!"  Well, of course.  That's the point.

We all live in a hustle and bustle world and even if we never leave the house, that hustle/bustle brain just keeps spinning tales of memories, regrets, to do lists, worries, plans...ARRRGGGHHHH!  Make it stop!

Restorative poses are designed to "make it stop".  The goal of yoga, after all, is to calm the fluctuations of the mind.  We get our bodies in good working order through asana practice so that they are not obstacles to meditation.   Also, BONUS!, while in the midst of asana practice we put our attention on acquiring the pose, which already slows down the constant whirl of the thinking mind.

We get a mini restorative practice at the end of every class, as we settle into Savasana.  We might put a blanket under our heads, an eye pillow over our eyes, prop our legs over a bolster, cover up with another blanket...and get as comfortable as possible for 10 minutes.  It's not perfect, but it's pretty great, right?

Well, there are actually practices of only restorative poses!  Usually only 4-5 poses in a whole class, because moving from one to the next requires gathering up enough props to start your own studio, then erecting quite the Barcalounger effect.  The rule is "no hanging limbs", meaning every square inch of you should be supported in the greatest degree of comfort possible.  This is accomplished differently for everyone, but as a teacher we are to assess how a person's body is lying there and then scurry about finding the appropriate bolster, blanket, block, sandbag, eye pillow -- often multiples of each -- to ensure our practitioner has achieved maximum comfort.  Even if they say they feel fine, we are to continue to offer accommodations until the moment of pure Nirvana is reached.

Some of my sister yoginis in teacher training excel in this -- both as a teacher and as a practitioner.  I watched in awe as they created nests of absolute beauty, building a veritable Comfort Fort around their charge.   It was an image to behold (sorry I didn't take photos!).  And many seemed to sink into this experience with complete ease and appreciation.

As luck would have it, my final partner and I sort of sucked at this exercise.  We understood the theory behind it and we could support each hanging limb with the best of them.  We just didn't groove on the whole thing.  We both sort of chuckled and felt glad we'd partnered up because our motto became "good enough" when either being the teacher or the student in our pair.  We both agreed that a mountain of props feels "clutter-y" to us as a teacher and a bit claustrophobic as a practitioner.  We never totally achieved bliss.  We were glad not to be the frustrating partner of a classmate who was totally into it.

As is true of every aspect of yoga, we do what is right for us, finding our edge and settling into the pose that fits for our bodies.  This is one I'm still destined to find.

I hope my certification isn't in jeopardy from this admission. Test me on it!  I can do it well enough I think and my student will find a peaceful repose and come away refreshed and restored. 

As for me, I'll have a lot of props to put away as I dismantle the fort.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  Image via life.dailyburn.com