YOGA = KINDNESS

Karen saw me jotting down some notes in class on Thursday and she knew I was cooking up something for this blog.  I told her I often have ideas during practice, but by the time I get home and have time to write,  the thoughts have floated away on a wispy cloud (just like we tell them to during meditation) and I have no idea what my brilliant idea was.

Apparently jotting down notes doesn't help that much either.  Here are my notes:  "kindness/yoga"; "edge - place between pleasure/pain"; "listen to breath, body - let go thoughts"; "effort, pay attention."

What did all that mean?  With notepad in hand, I was coalescing random thoughts into a grand topic idea and even conjuring compete sentences, composing a post that felt fresh even though I've previously covered topics about those disparate words.  Now, two days later, all I have are those cryptic notes.  I know I could just dive in and come up with something, but it wouldn't be what I wanted to write and it would feel forced.  Note to Self:  Next time take better notes.

So, let's talk about crying.  Yesterday we had a small class with Elizabeth.  Since she is gifted at gearing the class therapeutically around body issues practitioners might have, she always asks if people need to work on anything in particular. There were several requests, including a question about how yoga relates to our emotions.  Elizabeth explained that some believe that the connecting fascia "holds" emotional energy and when we stretch the fascia it loosens and releases those emotions.  She talked about a practitioner who has a chronic debilitating condition.  Early in her newfound yoga practice, this woman cried, even sobbed, all through the class.  Can you relate?  I sure can!

Maybe it was the power of suggestion, but yesterday after this discussion I found that tears welled up in my eyes several times during class.  Was it the fascia releasing emotional energy?  Maybe.  I had been feeling stiff and sore, inflexible and exhausted lately.  I told myself there was no reason for this so I've been concerned about it.  But as the class progressed, I realized that once again I was judging myself -- not remembering the two-week "vacation" from practice while traveling, the hours of gardening, the days of caring for my two year old granddaughter, the episodes of eating way too many sugary treats.  Naturally I wasn't in peak flexibility and strength form!  But instead of honoring that truth, I had worried that I was sick with some dread disease, or maybe just losing my stamina due to age or sloth, or the extra 5 pounds I've packed on over the winter.  Those anxieties weren't at the forefront of my thoughts, but stored inside my body.  As we worked slowly to release and strengthen our muscles, find proper alignment in our poses, and give ourselves permission to NOT do a pose at all, I found my emotions finding release as well.

I started to pay attention, without effort, letting my thoughts go and allowing my tears to come.  When I expressed frustration with not finding certain poses, Elizabeth suggested to me that my scoliosis and particular body might not "welcome" some poses, so don't do them!  Perfection has no place on the yoga mat; I always forget that and her reminder touched me.

There is an edge between pleasure and pain and it's our awareness of that edge that allows us to grow in asana practice.  I honor that awareness, but too often try to push myself beyond that edge to achieve those poses that my body wisdom knows to reject.  That's where kindness comes in; the kindness of a reminder from a yoga teacher and the kindness we offer ourselves by not judging.

If you see tears in my eyes, you'll know I've found that place of grace on the mat where, yes, yoga equals kindness.©

Namaste,   donnajurene

Photo Credit:  pixabay.com