BAD RESORT YOGA

Why is resort yoga so frustrating?

I'm on vacation and tried the yoga offering here at the resort.  Again.  I've written blog posts in the past about my resort yoga experiences.  (Find them in the blog post index under headings:  In and Out of the Studio and Wardrobe)   I keep trying, but geez....

I met the yoga group at the appointed hour at the fitness center, chose a beat up, frayed, sandy mat from the cart where they were stored, wondering how often they are cleaned.   We followed the instructor through the gardens to the beach, like little chicks following the mother hen.  We unfurled our mats under a shade tree and began.

With no preliminaries, she had us immediately stand in Mountain Pose and then rise up on tiptoes for "balancing pose"....and we were off on what she announced would be a gentle class.  It was, for the most part, but a bit disjointed and weirdly constructed as one move didn't necessarily flow into the next.  Random Yoga.  Also, she had this auto-pilot thing she did (I've noticed this so many times with resort yoga instructors),  where even with her eyes closed, or facing away from us, she'd say, "Good job!  Beautiful!"  HOW DID SHE KNOW?  She wasn't looking at us!  It sort of cracked me up.  We could have been writhing in pain or flipping her the bird and she'd say, "Good job!"

I have some suggestions:

First of all, we are all here from somewhere else, right?  How about taking the first 5 minutes of the class welcoming us?  Maybe go around and ask us to share our names and where we are from and if we have ever done yoga before or have any injuries or needs she should be aware of.  Seems that would help build a little community, and allow her to know how best to support our practice.  Makes sense to me.

Also, how about reminding us to breathe, to only do what we can and no more, to skip anything that hurts.  I always see at least one or two in the class at resort yoga grimacing or looking embarrassed by their inability to do the pose.  There are never adequate (or any) props.  Help us out a little!   (Of course there are always also a couple of Yoga Journal models effortlessly moving into each pose in proper alignment with their rockin' fit bodies mocking the rest of us.)

At one point she did give us an alternative option for a "resting pose" -- "Take either Child's Pose or Pigeon, your choice."  Hmmmm... OK.   I don't see those as equivalent resting poses, and I have zero hours of teacher training, so what do I know?  And this may be nitpicking, but she kept calling the Downward Dog pose, "Downward Doggie".  No.  Just no.

I know these instructors see an ever-changing parade of tourists and it all becomes "just a job" at some point.  I get that.  She was friendly enough, as they all are, but I get the strong impression they are most eager to finish the hour and move on to whatever else they'd rather be doing.

And yoga in public is weird too.  We are on the beach, with people walking by, oggling our Happy Baby pose wide spread legs in the air above prominent butts.  It felt a little exhibitionist actually.

When it was time for Savasana, we lay in silence, thinking the only sound we hear would be the waves crashing to shore, the gentle breeze in the palms above us....but no.  A woman on her cell phone stood about 10 feet away giving a verbal description of her surroundings to someone back home, including, "... and I'm watching some people doing Yoga on the beach, or something..."

Or something, indeed.  ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  www.pixaby.com