BEST FRIEND

I brought my "best friend" (OK, me) to class last week.  She loves yoga, but has been feeling guilty about not getting to the studio on her regular days, nor as frequently, so I invited her to come and tried to assure her that her decision to also prioritize her aerobic and strength fitness classes at the Y were equally important to her health.  I reminded her that her doctor advised she lose a bit of weight and up her heart rate on a regular basis so she can ditch her blood pressure meds and stay off statins.  She hates taking pills!  So those other classes are important right now.  It's OK.

But I know she is a little stressed trying to fit all this "fitness" into her schedule.  Staying alive can turn into a full-time job at a certain age.  Yoga, though, is a necessary piece of the health and wellness puzzle for her and I know that too.

Once she arrived and rolled out her mat, I could just see her stress level dissipate.  I could see her breathing become slower and deeper.

I noticed how she propped her left leg on a cushion when we sat cross-legged.  I know it frustrates her so much to find she has limited motion in that hip, an occurrence that seems to have come out of the blue a few months ago.  She used to pride herself on her open-hipped flexibility.  She's trying to figure out what is wrong, and has tried to deny the pain and force her hip open and her leg to stretch into a nice flat space.  But I told her she needs to respect her body and what her body needs in every moment.   She listened and also doubled up her blanket under her right knee, which has been giving her fits too.  I reminded her to respect her body's changing needs; there is nothing wrong with that.  Body awareness is one of yoga's many gifts.

My friend has been thinking, talking, and meditating a lot on the realities of growing older.  She abhors the ageism that culture uses to define older people -- especially the assumed disintegration of body and mind that are "inevitable".  She is well aware of the realities of every age and stage of life and has learned that with each there are joys and challenges.   She won't let anyone put her into a stereotyped box of characteristics and expectations.  So what if her hip and knee hurt?

She thinks of how overwhelmed and stressed she was when she was younger full-on into parenting her sons, working full time, helping her mother through difficult transitions with dementia.   She couldn't sleep, got depressed, and had severe back pain.  All that is behind her now.  Life changes, bodies change.  We take control of what we can, and accept what we can't, hopefully with some grace and determination.  She's older now, and glad to live at a more leisurely pace, with the time and freedom to focus on mind, body, and spirit.

When Karen told us about a class she is taking, the first session of which focused on being your own best friend, I looked down at my legs stretched out in front of me on the mat, when everyone else had their legs seemingly tucked effortlessly back under them in Hero's Pose.  I thought to myself, "Hello, dear friend.  I'm so glad I brought you to class today, so glad you are taking care of that sore hip.  No matter what happens in life, I'm here for you..."  That "best friend" I brought to class was me!

Are you your own best friend?  Do you listen to yourself?  Respect yourself?  Seek to understand and support yourself?  Are you gentle with yourself?  Do you withhold harsh judgements of yourself?  Do you truly love yourself as you would your best friend?

Try it.  It feels good. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

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