Since our day-long retreat (see previous post), we had three more sessions and these were focused on Communication, Compassion, and Continuing Practice.
Do you ever notice how relationships with others can be stressful? If we can identify our emotions around what other people are "triggering" in us, we can learn to be present with the emotion, noticing it, and identifying it without becoming that emotion with our whole being. Instead of "I'm so angry with you!!!" there might be a pause, a deep breath, and the acknowledgement that "anger is rising in response to what she said." The anger is there, but it's not controlling me. I admit to this being a real challenge for me. Emotion is a powerful force and arises in an instant. The practice is to slow down, pay attention, and "label" the feeling with some distance in order to maintain equilibrium in a potentially tense situation.
As we are able to respond rather than react to life and its stresses, we might also find a place of more compassion for ourselves and those around us. Our textbook says, "Compassion is defined as the practice of noticing suffering in ourselves and others and being willing to help." Help takes many forms and sometimes the best we can do is be present with the feelings that arise, holding space, and witnessing with another. Sometimes we need to realize our own suffering may be due to distorted thinking and projection, and not in tune with reality at all. This is an opportunity to take responsibility for our own thinking and to find clarity and peace with a new paradigm of interpretation. We did many "Lovingkindness Meditation" practices in class...sending love and compassion and well-being to those we love, those we only know a little bit, to ourselves, and most challenging, to those we actually dislike. Sound easy? Nope. That's why they call it a practice.
In class we learned there are formal practices -- a variety of sitting meditations, as well as movement meditations -- Qigong, Yoga, etc. And there are informal practices -- eating mindfully, walking mindfully, speaking mindfully, awareness of sensation in any given minute. All of these can be incorporated into a daily living mindfulness practice that keeps us grounded, aware, in the moment, and free from regret (past focus) or worry (future focus).
At the end of the class I realized that the Nirvana I had hoped to obtain by taking the MBSR class was not automatic. I realized that most of the modalities and exercises were not new to me -- I've been taught them and have sporadically practiced all of them in the past. What was real for me, the learning I take away, is there is no 'magic pill' of a teacher or class or course that will take the place of dedication to practicing every day. Mindfulness is always there yet it's not always easy to access; it takes a intention and attention to truly incorporate peace, equanimity, and tranquility into our lives.
Seems like it might be worth the effort. Now, close your eyes and notice your breath moving in and moving out....
Namaste, donnajurene
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