BREATHING THROUGH PROCRASTINATION

Taking yoga teacher training has reminded me of my tendency to procrastinate.  When I mentioned this to Karen, she immediately helped reframe my accompanying self-flagellation tendencies by pointing out the "power of procrastination".  She said you can literally feel the POWER building and building and building until you know you just have to ACT!  It may be that you even decide to stay up until midnight to tackle the task, but you DO IT!  YAY!

This is a most positive way to look at putting off my homework until the last minute.  Love it!  It's a POWER MOVE! 

It's especially helpful since this month's homework is breathing.  One really should NOT procrastinate this task.  Breathing is sorta important.  And usually automatic, but not in the way we've been assigned to breathe this month.  

We are practicing Pranayama.  It's a very specific breath practice which enhances our concentration and regulates our energy and emotions as we practice yoga...or life.

When breathing happens automatically it comes from the lower brainstem, which initiates and controls our unconscious breath.  But we can override this automatic breath by consciously breathing in a different pattern.  If we are angry or agitated our breath is shallow and fast; we can calm these emotions by consciously slowing and deepening the breath and soon our very emotions are changed.  Magic!

There are so many ways to control the breath.  We are starting by experimenting with our "threshold" -- how many inhales and exhales we do comfortably.  Then we are asked to increase on each side of the inhale and exhale to find our comfortable maximum threshold.  Then we are asked to inhale, hold for as many counts as is comfortable, then exhale and hold for a few counts again...all the while monitoring for comfort and ease.  Once this threshold is mastered, we can begin to experiment with a number of interesting ways to breathe, hold, switch nostrils (one closed, the other open), and on and on in a variety of practices that can help us consciously choose a breathing pattern that is of best benefit at any given time.  

I have a wee little anxiety disorder that is mostly always under control, but sometimes does a big freak out.  I've learned the very basic pranayama practice of inhaling a deep belly breath, holding for just one beat, then exhaling for at least two or three beats longer than inhale.  It sometimes takes several rounds for me to regulate my seeming "need" to breath as if a lion was chasing me, but eventually I am able to calm those irrational fears with just my breath.  It's such a relief to have this little tool at the ready whenever I need it.

So if this is so great, why am I procrastinating?  Because learning any new skill is not easy.  I've got that first one down, but there are others that are more complex and just following the instructions gets me confused.  Also I start to hyperventilate.  And then I want to give up.  So I do.  Until I go back to it and try again.  And the pattern repeats.  

I am sure eventually I will find the Pranayama practices that work for me.  But to do that, I must explore them all, learning their rhythms, their purposes, their joys, and their challenges.  Just like asana practice:  How do you know you like Child's Pose better than Pigeon Pose until you've tried them both?

So, the Power of Procrastination is building in me and causing some short shallow breaths as I see the calendar days passing by until our next class when I will need to report on my progress with Pranayama.  I will take a deep, cleansing breath now and open my notebook.  I will take one practice at a time, doing three a day, until I've covered them all.  I will override my unconscious breathing for brief periods to see what I can do with purposeful breath selection. In this way I will get my homework done...and learn more about myself in the process.   Ahhh....Breathe....©

Namaste, donnajurene

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