IN THE BEGINNING...

                                                                                    Dear Yoga Circle Studio,

I love you.  I have loved you since before I even met you.  I have loved you since the days when  all my friends, when I asked about local yoga studios where I wouldn't feel like a doofus as a beginner, said, "You should go to Yoga Circle in Snohomish."

So, one afternoon about 7 years ago,  I did just that.  I spread out my cushy new mat in the very back corner, hugging the wall by the restroom, and set about learning this thing called yoga.

I had tried before, on various and sporadic occasions at retreats where yoga was offered as an "add on", but it wasn't the main event.  Mostly I hated it.  Well, OK, I hated myself.  I was overweight, weak, out of shape, and uncoordinated.  The simplest poses were too hard.  I told myself, and anyone who asked, "I don't do yoga.  I don't get it; it's dumb."  Then I headed off to the gym for a "real" workout (also sporadic.)

But when I heard the "do what feels right" message at Yoga Circle, it kept me coming back.   Still, my natural tendency to berate myself reared its ugly head, especially in the early months of practicing.  I had a terrible time learning the poses -- always gawking at the teacher and the other students, trying to figure out where this foot and that arm and the other leg were supposed to be.  I tried not to hunch my shoulders or grit my teeth.  I was stiff and heavy and out of breath.  My arms and wrists were limp and sore.

Sometimes, when we assumed Child's Pose I was so relieved, I cried.  I cried over the body I hated; I cried because I "couldn't do it", and also cried with relief at the little peek I saw into the possibility that this practice might be a way to connect below the neck, to become whole in body, mind, and spirit. 

Now when I see a novice come in to the studio --  heading to the back of the room, maybe feeling confused -- I wonder what they are thinking and if they are as unsure as I was at the beginning.  It is an act of courage to "take action on our own behalf", as Karen reminds us in class so frequently.  This wisdom is my daily mantra in so many instances now and I hope those new students will keep coming.   Taking action on our own behalf is worth it.  Really.

Now I consider myself a practitioner of Yoga.  And "practicing" is the perfect word for an imperfect student.  Some days I feel strong and agile.  Others I feel as weak, stiff, and uncoordinated as the day I first walked through the door.  I have come regularly and, at times, not so much.  (Getting out the door is the hardest part of the practice some days!)  I'm not super young, exceedingly slim, nor ultra fit.  I've never been an athlete, and yoga really is about the extent of my physical pursuits.  I'm like a lot of people -- just trying to stay in some semblance of decent shape as I grow older, while trying to find practices that feed my soul.  Yoga is it for me.  Marathon running is not.

Karen Guzak, teacher and studio owner at YCS has read my yoga-related posts from another blog I write www.myviewfromhere-donna.blogspot.com and has linked them to her website occasionally.  Recently she asked if I'd write a separate blog about the studio and my practice.  

Full Disclosure: This is that blog.  Our agreement is that I will be honest and I will tell the truth about my experiences with yoga and with the studio.  There might be topics and opinions about which she and I disagree, but I still get to write about them.  Our hope is that readers will find some experiences in common with me and will be reassured, motivated, and enthused about their own practices.   

Plus, if you can't laugh at yourself, you can at least laugh at me -- you will find that any balancing pose  I attempt is especially humorous to behold!  Maybe there will be pictures…  

Namaste…donnajurene

Photo Credit: Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_vukvuk'>vukvuk / 123RF Stock Photo</a>