FULL OF IT

Good Morning, Class.  Today we will explore the suffix "ful" and a curious evolution in our common usage of such.

One would agree, wouldn't one, that beautiful means "full of beauty"?  Likewise, fearful would indicate a feeling of "full of fear"; artful, "full of art" (or artistic ability); fanciful "full of 'fancy' or whimsy"; wonderful, "full of wonder"; graceful, "full of grace"...and so on.  There are many examples.  Take a moment to think of some.  It's fun.

In class yesterday Karen began to talk of being careful, but with a twist.  She meant that we should be full of care for ourselves, and I started to wonder....when did "Be careful" turn into an admonishment meaning "avoid disaster!"  We shout, "Be careful!" to toddlers learning to use stairs; to teenagers driving for the first time; to husbands with a bad knee still doing Double Diamond gladed runs on his snowboard.  (OK, maybe that's just me, but he did hit a tree one time and ended up with bruised ribs.)

Be careful, of course, does indicate a desire for our loved one, or ourself, to take care in a myriad of ways to stay healthy and whole, but we use the term as a warning, issued as a limitation.

These days we are being told to embrace radical acceptance and to seek activities that are renewing and refreshing and we call it "self-care".  Aren't we actually engaging in being "care-FULL" when we lie on the massage table, take a nap, read a book, meet a friend for coffee, enjoy a healthful (full of health!) meal, or step onto our yoga mats?

And if we are reclaiming careful, let's also give a shout-out to awful.  How about instead of that word most typically meaning something terrible, no good, and to be avoided, we instead looked at the world from a place of being "full of awe".

Yes!  I think one of my New Year Intentions (I refuse to make short-term resolutions, but I do set long-term intentions), is to reclaim the words "careful" and "awful" -- removing them from the negative connotation of something to be feared, something that can harm, something to avoid -- to a way of being in the world that uplifts me, reminds me to care for myself in a positive way and to be appreciative and grateful for life's mysteries.  I want to be "full of care"  and "full of awe" in a way that enhances my life.

Let's all greet 2019 by being very, very care-full and very, very awe-full!  ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

SCHOOL DAZE

Oh my!  What have I done????

Over a period of 2-3 weeks, I picked up the brochure numerous times, read it, and put it down again on top of the stack of other brochures.  One day  I stuck one in my purse and took it home.  The next day I brought it back.  One day I told my husband about my inkling and he asked why I was hesitating.  He was encouraging.  Still, I hesitated.  I took home another brochure.  I left it on my desk so I'd see it every day.  Finally, finally I listened to the small, still voice that was whispering "Yes, do it."

I finally picked up the Yoga Teacher training brochure and committed.  I've registered for Karen and Elizabeth's 200-hour course which will start in January and go through July.  Oh my...

Why was I hesitating?  Well, there was this:  Who am I to think I could actually teach yoga to anyone???  I can't do all the poses; I'm not deeply steeped in the yogic philosophy; I know almost nothing about human anatomy; I've got some aches and pains and some days I feel like a beginner even after practicing for over 10 years.

Then there was that huge time commitment at a time in my life when I'm actively avoiding ongoing commitments.  I'm retired!  I don't have to do anything!  But there it was --one weekend a month for six months I'll be in class Thursday from 5:30-8:30, Friday and Saturday 10:00-6:00, and Sunday 9:00-5:30.  It all culminates with a 5 day intensive retreat in July.  That is a lot!  Plus I gotta think there will be homework.

Another smaller, yet real concern was my age.  I'll be 68 years old next week.  Isn't a bit late to be starting something new?  I imagined everyone else in the class being young, fit, and vivacious, with body hugging cute outfits and yoga butts -- not like me in my hoodie cuz I tend to be chilly, prone to migraines, plantar facititis, a glitchy hip, a crooked scoliosis-leaning spine, and a wee touch of occasional anxiety.  Plus, I have not taken formal study in anything in many, many years.  I didn't want to be the slow learner.

What brought me around?  Curiosity.  Challenge.  Passion.  Vision.  Community.

I may not know much about yoga philosophy and human anatomy, but I really want to learn about both!  I'm excited about this most of all.  I like the challenge of delving into a course of study and I can already feel the 'first day of school' anticipation I used to feel as a kid.  I was one of those who loved school and the possibilities of worlds to discover contained in every textbook and syllabus.

I'm passionate about yoga.  That doesn't mean I am an obsessive practitioner, but I am an evangelist for the benefits to mind, body, and spirit of the practice and I'm always grateful for having incorporated it into my life.  I tout the practice to others at every opportunity.  Yoga is a metaphor for life...it's all right there on the mat if you are open to it.

I want to deepen my own practice with this study, foremost, but occasionally I have fantasies of teaching informally in settings for kids and older people.  I volunteer in my granddaughter's 3rd grade classroom and I can imagine introducing simple breathing and asana there; also at my other granddaughter's preschool.  At the other end of the age spectrum, I have a vision of taking simple yoga practices into Adult Family Homes.  My mother lived in one of these and I loved visiting with her and residents there, but saw the isolation from activities that are more available in other more institutional "senior living" settings. I think it would be fun and beneficial for them to have a "yoga day".

I don't know if any of that will come to pass.  I'm taking it one step at a time.  For now I'm looking forward to joining Karen and Elizabeth, to meeting the other students, and to forming our little community of learners -- risking, laughing, learning, and growing together.

(And NO, I'm not too old!  I'm a strong advocate for stamping out ageism and this is my way of acknowledging that while I might have some hesitancy, that won't stop me!  I'm ready to rock this yoga teacher thing!)©

Namaste, donnajurene

WISE TEARS

My husband and I have a morning "coffee date" where we sit in our living room watching the birds at the feeder and discuss whatever is on our minds at 8:00 a.m.  It might be about plumbing issues, family outings, fears and tears, or joyful anticipation of an upcoming event.   Today it was about "to do" lists and the ever-racing brain that goes along with keeping a cascade of details in mind as the holiday season unfolds.  We talked about whether our meditation practice helps beyond sitting in silent meditation, with staying calm during the day.  My husband is better at this 'carry-over' effect than I am.  I bounce right up from meditation; my brain re-engages and my body is off and running.  But after this discussion, as I drove to yoga class,  I vowed to try to stay in mindful calm more often than not.  I was looking forward to my asana practice.

But I walked in the door and Elizabeth reminded me this was Yoga Nidra Wednesday.  She knows that particular practice is not my favorite.  She gave me the option to decide if I wanted to stay.  Which is when I started to weep -- a sure sign that something was prodding me to stand in that emotion and feel all the feels that were coming up.  I told her I wanted to like Yoga Nidra, but I can never get physically comfortable; can't make my mind be present to the practice.  I get impatient, even frustrated and a bit angry, and I just want to get up and get out.  I said this as tears fell.  She hugged me.  She said leaving was an option and a perfectly fine one.  She also offered that I could leave after the asana portion of the class.  Or instead of lying down for the meditation portion of the practice, I could sit in a chair.

Wait...What??? Sit in a chair?  Is that OK?  That's not how this practice "should" be done!  It's Yoga SLEEP, after all!  But in her calm and encouraging way, she reminded me my yoga practice is always my practice.  I can find a posture that works for me, no matter how unorthodox.  So, I decided to stay.  I knew my tears were cuing me into something important.  I felt vulnerable...always a good sign of an open, needing heart.

By the time I'd dithered at the door, and had my weep-fest with Elizabeth, the room was nearly too full to find a spot for my mat.  This is a very popular practice for most people!  I had intended to hide in the corner of the room.  Instead I ended up front and center between the doors and the raised area where Elizabeth took her teacher spot.   I set up my mat and opened myself to whatever was going to happen.

The asana practice was gentle and calming.  Then, for the meditation portion,  I gathered props (chair, blanket, bolster, blocks) to support myself in a surprisingly comfortable posture, and with Elizabeth's help with strategically placed straps around my legs and wrists ("yoga handcuffs"!) I was able to find complete relaxation of limbs.  I closed my eyes and followed the guided meditation for the next 45 minutes, physically comfortable and with the ability to allow thoughts to rise and fall, come and go, without attachment.  Except the one that recurred:  I wanted to try the new Starbucks Juniper Latte and my mind would not leave that one alone!  So funny!

At the end of class, I was so grateful I stayed.  I felt totally relaxed, elated, calm, and joyful.  I hugged Elizabeth on the way out -- grateful as always for her gentle encouragement and skilled leadership.

As I sipped my yummy Juniper Latte on the way home (yes, I stopped at Starbucks), I knew I had found my way to Yoga Nidra after all.  And the carry-over effect lasted all day.  No longer avoiding that class, I'll be embracing it -- making it my own.  I'm glad I trusted those wise tears. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

From Wikipedia:  Yoga nidra (Sanskrit: योग निद्रा) or yogic sleep) is a state of consciousness between waking and sleeping, like the "going-to-sleep" stage. It is a state in which the body is completely relaxed, and the practitioner becomes systematically and increasingly aware of the inner world by following a set of verbal instructions.

THANKFULNESS

We live in a prickly world.  It seems we are inundated with bad news: wars, famines, Mother Nature's furies, political upheaval, seemingly intractable problems to solve on all fronts -- from climate change and gun control to my computer software crashing just as I was ready to hit "send" on a photo book I'd created for my granddaughter.  From the overwhelming to the merely annoying, life can sometimes feel like running up against one obstacle after another.

And yet, tomorrow is the American holiday of Thanksgiving, and we are called to thankfulness.

It doesn't take me long to find an "attitude of gratitude", as Karen encourages us to do in class, but I have to admit there is a short pause as I mentally discard all the trouble spots in my life and zero in on thankfulness.

My husband and I facilitate a monthly sharing circle of twelve people who come together to socialize and share from the heart in a rare gathering of trust and intimacy built up over the past three years of building this intentional community of friendship.  We generally try to come up with a process of getting below the surface and finding insight into who we are and why we respond as we do to our lives and to those around us.

Last week we met and with thankfulness as a theme, we led the group in an exercise of going around the circle to share a recent challenge or disappointment -- something that didn't go as expected.  From national and local political issues to bum knees and family troubles,  each person in the group shared their feelings of being let down.

The next round around the circle we encouraged a deeper dive.  In spite of that disappointment, was there a place of gratitude around what what happening?  I am no Pollyanna.  I HATE the "it could be worse"/"put on a happy face" response to very real events and feelings.  But I also find no solace in wallowing in and perseverating on a challenge indefinitely.  That place of stuck-ness and self-pity does not move me forward.

My sharing was about troubles I've had with my eyesight recently -- unable to read for any length of time; squinting at the computer screen; seemingly cloudier vision in one eye; night driving becoming more challenging... What the heck?  A trip to the Opthamalogist revealed that I have a growing cataract in my left eye.  WHAT?  Isn't that what my grandmother had when she was old?  I was beyond disappointed with this diagnosis.

I lamented for a couple of days, worried and sad.  Then I started to realize: I was able to get a same-day appointment, insurance covered all but the co-pay; the doctor and the technician were skilled, friendly, and encouraging; the array of technologically sophisticated machinery employed to make a thorough and accurate diagnosis was pretty amazing; there is a procedure I can have done that will help me.  I found great gratitude for all of these things.  I still don't like what I'm experiencing, still don't want this thing happening, but grateful nonetheless to live in a time and place where this is not the beginning of blindness.

What would it be like to train our brains to be ever mindful of the gratitude that lies beneath each setback?  To see the everyday goodness and wonder of life?  To truly cultivate that "attitude of gratitude"?

We have that opportunity at all times, but maybe the baby step is to show up to yoga class at every visit grateful for the physical and emotional warmth of the studio, the beautiful art that surrounds us, the skilled and smiling teachers who lead us to health, the students next to us who are experiencing their own pain and challenge but who show up to move, breathe, and find solace together in a time of grateful awareness within the Yoga Circle community.

May your day of Thanksgiving be a blessing....and may you find thankfulness in every single day. ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Photocredit:  www.pixabay.com

IN THE FLOW

I had a momentary meltdown one morning last week.  These are not unusual for me.  I have a history of getting myself in a tizzy over this and that.  I read an article a while back exploring the unique characteristics of "highly sensitive people": https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201609/9-common-traits-highly-sensitive-people  I fit a little bit of all but one of the characteristics in this article.  (I'm not #4). I fit A LOT of the first one -- being overwhelmed by too much to do.

Life feels like one big "to-do" list sometimes.  As a person retired from an emotionally demanding job, from raising two sons and caring for a mother with dementia, one would think what lies before me each day is only fun and leisure.  Nope.  Life doesn't stop when one chapter closes and another begins.  I still have a marriage to nuture, as well as now grown sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, a big house and garden, friends, travels and the nearly full-time task of trying to stay alive.

That last one is the surprise of growing older and takes up much more time than I anticipated.  My little meltdown the other day was over the seemingly inordinate amount of time it takes to care for mind, body, and spirit -- on top of everything else!

I was having a conversation with my husband about my frustration with finding I have lists of things I need and want to do, but adding in 2-3 hours (plus travel time) every day to go to yoga classes, fitness and strength classes at the Y, go for a walk or hop on the treadmill, and sit in meditation seems to cut dramatically into a day that includes all the other stuff besides staying upright, active, strong, agile, balanced, and calm.  I was particularly lamenting how feeble my meditation practice had become.

My husband is a bit of a saint when I get into these states of seeing no way out from my dilemma, whatever the angst du jour happens to be.  In this instance, he wisely slowed me down by asking in a calm and gentle voice:

Him: "What do you really want?"
Me: "WHAT?  I WANT TO HAVE MORE TIME!  ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?!"

Him: "Well, you can't manufacture more than 24 hours in a day, so what do you really want?"
Me: "I want to stop feeling so frantic, like I can't keep up and can't do all the things I want and need to do!"

Him: "Can't is a defeated sounding word...what do you really want?"  (I knew this was a technique he was using, and it was annoying.)
Me:"ARRGGGHHH! I just want to be healthy!  I want to feel calmer, more accepting of myself, less frantic and I don't want it to take so much of my damn day to do!"

Him: "Sounds like you might be compartmentalizing all these wants and tasks into separate time slots.  Can you find this calmer state of mind while you are working out?  While you are driving to yoga?  While you are writing a blog post or cleaning out a closet?"
Me: "I love writing...I completely lose track of time.  Same with cleaning closets, weirdly.  I'm just focused and calm.  When I'm working out or practicing yoga, I'm really present in the activity...."

Him: "Wouldn't you call that 'meditation'?  Certainly mindfulness."
Me: "Yeah, I guess it is...."

Him: "Maybe meditation is being in the flow...being present to the present moment.  Maybe you don't have to sit eyes closed in silence for 30 minutes to get the meditation benefit.  Maybe your daily tasks are your spiritual practice, if you approach them that way."
Me: "Wow!  Of course.  Everything I do has a spiritual, healing component, if I frame my life that way.  I don't need more "time"; I need a re-frame! I can do all the things I want and need to do, with a little more organization and a little less 'overwhelm' procrastination."  (Also less TV.)
******

A week later, I still have "to-do" lists on my desk but I don't feel nearly so panicked.  I have a schedule worked out for yoga, the Y, and walks and I can adjust that as needed to accommodate other activities that arise --and not punish myself for it.   As for meditation....I'm not forcing myself to sit silently right now.  Rather, I'm gently reminding myself that my life is an opportunity for meditation and mindful presence every minute of every day.

I'm sure I'll need to revisit this over and over...I tend to backslide. But for now, see ya "in the flow".©

Namaste, donnajurene

SOVEREIGN, MAGICIAN, WARRIOR, LOVER

I'm still trying to find my rhythm after my 5 weeks of travel in Great Britain.  All good intentions to get fully back into my Yoga practice and YMCA workouts have been sporadic at best -- victims of jet lag, illness, conflicting commitments, and frankly, a bit of "I don't wanna" blues that has made my sofa more inviting than the yoga mat.   Does this ever happen to you?

Over the weekend my husband and I were on a retreat where we facilitated a personal growth session on the Jungian Archetypes of Sovereign, Magician, Warrior, & Lover.  Psychologist Carl Jung posited that these archetypes are working invisibly in our psyche, informing how we see and respond to the world around us.  And of course there are "shadow" archetypes of each of these as well, which tend to thwart our more benevolent intentions, but I'm focusing here on the more healthy, or "golden", facets of these and how they keep us in balance when we are aware of them.

The Sovereign creates and holds the vision.  Like a good and healthy King or Queen, the Sovereign energy within sees the big picture, is calm, balanced, confident; encourages creativity, honors and supports, gives blessing.

The Magician knows what needs to be done, and how, to realize the Vision.  The Magician uses knowledge and intuition to solve problems, uses tools/technology, is thoughtful, reflective, and clear sighted.

The Warrior enacts the Vision.  Warrior energy rouses, energizes, motivates; is focused, courageous, and mindful; removes obstacles, sets boundaries, gets the job done.

The Lover provides the reason (emotional connection) for the Vision.  Lover energy is sensually aware and sensitive to the rhythms of the world; empathetic, compassionate; elated, strong, alive, enthusiastic, romantic -- connected.

I've been thinking about these energies and how to employ them to get myself back on track.

My Vision:  to live in a state of peace with myself, those around me, and the world by having a healthy body, mind, and spirit.

My Magician: knows through study and practice that there are tools I can use to achieve this vision -- regular yoga practice in asana and meditation and regular physical activity to build endurance and muscular strength.  Diet, social interaction, relaxation time, etc. are also tools to use toward the vision.

My Warrior:  knows how to focus my intention on the vision; can remind me to remove the obstacles to achieving my vision, to set boundaries, (Don't say yes to coffee with friends on yoga mornings!), to say "no" to donuts and "yes" to fruit.  

My Lover: knows that my Vision is in service to my mental well-being, my healthy body, and living a life of connection to myself, my family, friends, community, and the world at large; this energy encourages me to find self-compassion when I mess up and to find forgiveness when others do.

When all of these archetypes are in healthy balance, well, what can stop us from realizing our visions -- from the simple to the sublime, on the mat and off?!   ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Happy Halloween, Warriors!

JUST LIKE STARTING OVER

Whew! It's good to be home.  Don't get me wrong; 5 weeks in Great Britain with my husband was great fun.  It was also exhausting.  And I came home with a head cold and a recurrence of my old migraine problem.  Too little rest, too much travel stress, too much restaurant food, maybe a wee bit too many shortbread cookies.  And no yoga.  None.  Nadda.

Pre-trip I had entertained the notion that I'd have time to find little yoga studios to pop into here and there in our travels, but being on two back-to-back tours meant the itineraries were not our own.  There was almost zero time to ourselves and what there was was spent trying to recuperate from the jam-packed on the go schedule.  One afternoon I just stayed in my room and slept.

In the almost two weeks since we've been home, I've been slowly reacclimatizing.  It was summer when we left, and suddenly it's fall and the short days mean disorientingly dark mornings and evenings.  I'm still tired and wonder how long jet lag is supposed to last.  My cold and migraines have sidelined me from the activities I had looked forward to resuming.

But I got myself to the studio on Tuesday in spite of all this.  Sipping my coffee at home, I almost talked myself out of going, but I could hear Karen's admonition that the hardest part of yoga is getting there.  So even though I was running late, I got myself out the door and on the familiar drive to the studio.

It felt great to be there.  Warm, beautiful, welcoming environment; friendly, familiar faces (and so many who were brand new!).  I told Karen to go easy on me, but others were ready for a challenge so she led a "gentle, general" class that was just right.  Except....

I could really tell I was rusty.  I knew all the poses, of course, and most felt wonderful to do.  But I also felt stiff and weak and not as bend-y.  I noticed I still have that mystery issue with my left hip not opening as it used to.  Even Child's Pose, my usual favorite resting pose, took some squirming to find a place of comfort.

The victory in all of that was noticing how accepting I was of my (temporary!) deficits.  I didn't beat myself up, but lovingly accepted that of course I was out of practice and why not after 7 weeks out of the studio?  I gently held the truth that I will resume my regular practice and continue to loosen and soften into it.

At the end of class my cough returned when I tried to lie down in Savasana, so I sat up in Easy Pose, eyes closed, meditating on the great good fortune I had to travel, to return safely, to find my yoga community thriving, and my place in it easy to inhabit again.

If you are starting over, after an absence of a day or a month or more, be gentle and know you are right where you need to be.  I'm with you.©

Namaste,  donnajurene

COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT

I don't meant to complain, but....

Ever notice: 1) any sentence that has "but" near the beginning eradicates any phrase that comes before it?  2)  complainers know they shouldn't complain, because they apologize for it before forging ahead?

Karen apologized for starting class a few minutes late last week because, she said, she was listening to complaints.  I don't know where the complainers were -- whether at her city council job or at the yoga studio, but I want to believe at the city job.  We yogis would be far too mellow to complain, wouldn't we?

Maybe not.  I've been known to be a complainer, more so when I was younger and enjoyed the adrenaline surges of immature self-righteousness.  Complaining inherently comes with an "I'm right and you're wrong" bias about a person, a situation, the temperature of the room, whatever.  As I've matured (grown older) my complaints are fewer as I've discovered I pretty much can accommodate any situation. They are all temporary.  Or I can take action on my own behalf and change what doesn't work for me.  I am not powerless.

Still, there are times when one does want to vent; like the hour it took me to get through to my credit card customer service departments yesterday to take care of one simple task!  We will be traveling soon and I wanted to notify them so they didn't put those fraud holds on my cards.  Turns out "Customer Service" was only truly easy for one of the three calls I made.  Frustrating.  But a cup of coffee, some focused attention, rising to a challenge, and refusing to be defeated made the task sort of a personal triumph when completed.

I also tend to complain about weather more than one should.  I've lived in the Northwest for 36 years and yet, the cool, dark, drizzly, gray days we endure (see? even that "endure" word is a complaint!) leave me longing for sunshine and warmth.  I've complained lately that August, one of the months I live for the rest of the year, has been lost in a cloud of wildfire smoke, to the point where I didn't even open doors or windows for a week or more.  Lots of grousing about that.

So what to do when things don't exactly go your way.  Yes, speak up respectfully and ask for what you want/need.  Yes, take action on your own behalf and change what you can.  Yes, accept what is real and let go of the fantasy of how you want things to be.  So often our complaints are that life doesn't live up to our expectations.  But where did those expectations originate?  From a TV show?  A photo on the internet?  A childhood dream?  Accepting what "is" in the real world helps us adjust our expectations to a more realistic level.

Another antidote to complaint is gratitude.  See my examples above:  Yes, huge hassle and time suck around the credit card calls.  And yet....I am fortunate enough to have the financial security to even have a credit card which I will use to take a lovely vacation!  And the weather: I am fortunate enough to live in the Pacific Northwest, one of the most beautiful, lush, green, vibrant areas of our country.  To get all that, a little rain's gonna fall.  And the smoke?  I'm fortunate enough to be retired, to have the option of staying in and keeping myself safer from the harmful effects of breathing smoky air.

As yogis we have the tools of concentration, breath, silence, and lovingkindness meditation to see us through the hard times.  Attitude adjustments and gratitude practices work wonders when you find yourself in a complaint cycle.  Try it next time and leave complaining behind. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

SMILE YOUR WAY TO HAPPINESS

"May I be happy; May my friends be happy; May my enemies be happy; May all beings be happy.  May I be at peace; May my friends be at peace; May my enemies be at peace; May all beings be at peace;  May I be free; May my friends be free; May my enemies be free; May all beings be free."

Karen began our practice meditation today with those words, a variation of the Buddhist Lovingkindness Meditation.  My mind, body, and soul are calmed every time I hear this.  Why don't I do this meditation more often?

We get caught up in the Monkey Mind/Busy Body rush of our days and forget to send a blessing to ourselves, to those we love and to all beings -- even our enemies (or those we really and truly do not like.  C'mon, admit it.  You can think of one or two...)

Throughout the practice Karen reminded us that happiness happens when we take action on our own behalf and when we change our mindset to embrace happiness.

She reminded us over and over to SMILE.  Just the act of smiling triggers an emotional response that causes us to feel lighter and more joyful.  Maybe it's the muscle memory of all the times our smiles have been in response to joy in our lives.  Try it.  It works.

At one point in the practice I found myself gritting my teeth and wondering how much longer I needed to hold the pose.  I've had some unexplained stiffness in one hip that is frustrating me and also is a bit painful.  I try to stretch it and ignore the twinges, but so far that isn't working.  Still, as we sat in Easy Pose, with Karen reminding us to breathe, smile, and take any action needed to fully relax I realized that I was holding that leg at a weird angle and all my focus (even though I was smiling) was on the pain I was feeling.  I grabbed a blanket, folded it, and put it under my knee to prop my leg.  Ahhhhh....that did the trick.

Having self-compassion in that moment allowed me to be truly happy.  I stopped pushing myself; stopped the incessant chatter that had come up questioning what is wrong with my hip and why it happened and how to fix it and when it will get better....and just relaxed with one leg propped and the other flat.  Sure, I want my old flexibility back, but in that moment and maybe for all the moments to come, I found a way to accept what is and to find comfort and contentment there.

A shift in thinking led to a shift in posture which led to a shift in emotion.  If it can work on something as easy as Easy Pose, imagine what it can do on the really big stuff.

May all beings be happy.©

Namaste, donnajurene

THE SOUND OF HEAVEN

I just had a musical weekend.  Thursday my husband and I gathered with our grown children and their children to enjoy a picnic on the grass overlooking the stage at the weekly Music at the Marina performance near our home.  What a beautiful summer evening and a great band, LeRoy Bell and His Only Friends.  (Google them.)  At one point I felt my heart throbbing with love for my family, for the beauty of the surroundings, with gratitude for the choices and serendipity that had brought me to this place in my life, these people in it.

On Friday night my husband and I went to a local winery which hosts a summer concert series to see my all time favorite singer/songwriter/musician/band -- Jackson Browne.  I've been a fan since the 70's and his music has become the soundtrack for a big chunk of my life.  We had great center stage seats and I loved singing along to every word, dancing with the crowd, and screaming in appreciation after each song.  I haven't done that in a long, long time.  I was filled with memories of the many, many years I've listened to his music, seen him in concert, laughed and sang and danced with abandon. It was pure joy.

On Sunday, well, Sunday was the perfect musical finale.  Karen hosted a Jami Sieber concert at her magnificent home/art studio/community space.  You may know Jami Sieber -- if you practice at Yoga Circle Studio, you've heard her music.  Karen plays it frequently as the background music of her classes.

Jami plays the electric cello.  The first time I saw her I was stunned...what was that thing???  She calls it a cello having an out of body experience.  Funny, huh?  This time she was joined by her partner, Agu, who plays the singing bowls and chimes.  Together they were exquisite.

Jami is warm, funny, crazy talented.  She actually lays down backing tracks as she plays, layering melody and syncopation one over the other in a complex riddle of sound. Her music is transformative.  She invites her audience to take a "deep dive",  eyes closed, no need for applause...just let the music flow in and around, creating a peaceful and centering experience.  It's like floating on air.

When I posted to my Facebook page about this concert later that night, a friend from Boulder, Colorado surprised me with her knowledge of Jami.  She responded: "Ive been listening to her intensely for the past month.  Her music is the sound of Heaven."  Indeed.

May music fill your soul with love, with joy, with Heaven. ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Learn more and listen to Jami here:  https://www.jamisieber.com
Karen also has CD's for sale in the Yoga Circle Studio shop.

YOGA OBSTACLES

Desperate times lead to desperate measures.   I was just in a small town in North Idaho for 5 days.  Number of residents -- 2247.  Number of yoga studios -- 0.

I'd spent 6 hours in the car getting there.  Over the next 5 days I didn't do much physical activity. The first day I walked around some, but mostly sat in my lawn chair, at a Blues Fest in the neighboring town.  My husband spent the next three days covering about 130 miles on his bike.  I didn't want to go -- too hot!  So, I sat a good part of each subsequent day while completing a big stack of Postcards to Voters (a get out the vote national effort) and watching the news of the Helsinki Summit between our president and the Russian president unspool.  I puttered around the house a bit.  A couple of times I walked nearly 3 miles in midday 90+ degree sun to the post office and back to mail those postcards, which was good for burning calories, but not so much for avoiding near heatstroke.   I knew another day would be spent in the car for 6 hours again on the return trip home.

So, defying the  heat and no air conditioning in our little house, on the last day I decided I needed to stretch and bend and MOVE my body.  I needed some yoga!

I'm not a fan of home practice.  Well, I'm a fan, of course, I just suck at it.  Everyone should have a home practice, even if a few Sun Salutations, to tide one over between yoga studio sessions.  But I don't.  I've tried.  I get distracted and I procrastinate and I just blow it off.  But I decided, "Hey, you lazy bum! Do your yoga!"

I hauled out my laptop and went to YouTube and searched for Yoga.  The choices are endless.  It's a hit and miss thing unless you are sure what you are looking for and which online instructor you like.   I'm not ever sure.  Like I said, yoga at home on the computer is not my thing.

I just randomly chose "Yoga with Adriene".   I don't know Adriene, but we spent almost an hour together and I found her to be friendly, a little goofy, and pretty easy to follow.  I guess I didn't choose very strenuous videos, because the ones I did were easy.  Still there were annoyances and challenges.

First, check out the room she is in!  Who lives like this???  Pristine white walls, shiny hardwood floors, one lone green floor plant and a little table, looking like she just created it in her woodworking shop, with little plants in pots she threw herself, looking vaguely alter-ish.  Also, I do not believe that is a real window.  Those trees do not move.

My room was downright cluttered in comparison and not at all pristine.  It's a vacation home, not my regular residence.  Standards slip.  Every time she led me into Downward Dog or Child's Pose with my nose buried in the decades old carpet I tried to remember if we've had it cleaned more than once since we bought the place 12 years ago.  I thought I might still be able to smell "dog" (our beloved companion has been dead for 7 years).

Every time I lifted an arm or leg I banged into a chair or an end table, causing me to groan in momentary pain.  Every time I moved into plank my feet slipped out from under me -- I had no mat with me.  Instead of keeping it in alignment, my neck got kinked from looking at the computer screen.  Standing up I could see the screen fairly well looking down to where it was perched on the table, but lying on my back I had to stop and reposition the computer several times.  The fan in the window was so loud it took several tries to get the video volume just right.

Plus, distractions abound.  It was morning and my coffee beckoned, so I hit pause and poured a cup.  A dog barked manically nearby so I hit pause to look out the window.  Same with the dump truck that roared by.  An unusual bird flitted by my window, so I hit pause again to try to identify it.  It was so hot in the house, I had to hit pause again to get a glass of ice water and a cool, damp cloth for my face.  I was suddenly afflicted wth Yoga Attention Deficit Disorder.

But I persevered.  Fifty minutes later, with eyes closed, thumbs at the third eye in anjali mudra, Adriene closed with, "I hope you feel awesome.  I feel awesome.  You feel awesome.  We are all freaking awesome. Namaste."

I'm not sure I felt "freaking awesome", but I felt looser and a bit self-righteous for having done the practice in spite of my bruised toes and wildly swinging Monkey Mind.  Like Nike says, "Just Do It." Can't hurt; might help. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

GETTIN' YOUR SAUCHA ON

At the end of class last week, Karen thanked us all for coming and noted, "You got here...and sometimes that's the hardest part -- just getting here."  Yep. Totally relate to that!

"The second hardest part", she laughed,  "is cleaning up after class...this is a chance to practice saucha."

Practice what?!?

You may know, or have heard of, the Eight Limbs of Yoga.  In the West we are most familiar with only one -- the Asanas, or poses.  But before asana come the Yamas and Niyamas.  It might be a good idea to delve into these in future blog posts.  For now, let's just take a look at one of they Niyamas (observances) -- saucha.

Saucha is often translated as "purity", but commonly also referred to "the one about cleanliness."  In yoga philosophy, to practice saucha means to clear away the clutter of our surroundings and behaviors.

In class, Karen's reference to practicing saucha had to do with putting away our props in an orderly manner, so others don't have to come around behind us and organize and straighten things up. The blocks aren't thrown willy-nilly into their cubby space.  They are stacked in neat rows.  We don't toss hastily folded blankets onto the shelves; we take care to fold them evenly and stack them neatly with edges aligned.  This orderliness shows respect for our surroundings and our practice.

You may also know that it is "bad manners" to step on another's yoga mat. We take care to walk around the mats, not encroaching or "dirty-ing" the mats by unconsciously trodding across the mats on the floor that belong to someone else.

In our home habits, practicing saucha might mean eating clean, organic, healthful food, keeping a tidy home and car, being mindful of entertainment choices, and even who we choose as friends.

Saucha is a way of mindfulness, a way to move into a state of pureness mind, body, and spirit.

Come to think of it, I'm going to work on this concept with my granddaughters, 3 and 8 years old, when they come to visit.  They are active, curious, and creative and that means messy.  "Saucha, girls!  Saucha!" ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com
References: yogabasics.com; yogajournal.com

RESIST AND YIELD

Well, without going into detail (but you might be able to relate), I've been a bit riled about some national level political machinations and policy implementation lately.  I have a variety of "message" T-shirts I've accumulated over the past year.  One of them says "RESIST" across the front.  I wore it to class on Tuesday.

A sister Yogi asked what I was resisting.  I said, "All bad things."  We both laughed and agreed on that being a good idea. And Karen, our Tuesday teacher, also commented, "Resist! We resist in yoga too.  And then we yield."

WOW.  For the rest of the class my mantra was "yield and resist, resist and yield".  It felt like a profound way to move through the more challenging asanas, allowing full yielding rests between times of passive resistance as muscle hugs to bone or the active resistance of holding a plank pose.  Reminding myself to resist helped me move more fully into the pose.  Reminding myself to yield allowed me to fully relax and renew in resting poses.

Then on Thursday, I went to my "strength" class at the Y.  I'm trying to fight the muscle atrophy that comes with growing older and have begun taking a free-weights class.  The instructor is a bit of drill sergeant whose voice booms through her headset mic over a pounding soundtrack of music with a heavy beat.  She's no nonsense.  We are there to work!  But she is also great at offering modifications for beginners and those of lesser muscle mass, so I find I am (surprisingly) enjoying it (mostly). I hang out in the back of the class, watching in awe as the younger women in front of me heft their 20 pound dumbbells while I give my 8-pounders a workout.

Again, in that class, I thought of the concept of "yield and resist, resist and yield".  We do three sets of various lifts, with a short rest between each set.  When I am doing my biceps curls,  flyes,  overhead presses, rows, dead lifts...whatever...I am fully engaged and determined.  I am also really looking forward to that rest period and I fully appreciate it when it comes.

Which brings me back to politics.  I have been operating under the definition of resistance as stated in Webster's:  "Resistance -- the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument".  It has been exhausting me and making me weaker as I allow the constant act of resisting to sap me of energy.  I mistakenly felt I couldn't for one minute take a break.

But I'm learning yielding is healing, both on the mat, in the gym, and in life.  Resistance makes our muscles stronger, helps us stay upright, and balanced in many ways.  But yielding; yielding allows us to recover, to find peace, to melt into gratitude.   Equal measures of resistance and rest are a recipe for success in mind, body, spirit....and politics. ©

Namaste, donnajurene
Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com

BEST FRIEND

I brought my "best friend" (OK, me) to class last week.  She loves yoga, but has been feeling guilty about not getting to the studio on her regular days, nor as frequently, so I invited her to come and tried to assure her that her decision to also prioritize her aerobic and strength fitness classes at the Y were equally important to her health.  I reminded her that her doctor advised she lose a bit of weight and up her heart rate on a regular basis so she can ditch her blood pressure meds and stay off statins.  She hates taking pills!  So those other classes are important right now.  It's OK.

But I know she is a little stressed trying to fit all this "fitness" into her schedule.  Staying alive can turn into a full-time job at a certain age.  Yoga, though, is a necessary piece of the health and wellness puzzle for her and I know that too.

Once she arrived and rolled out her mat, I could just see her stress level dissipate.  I could see her breathing become slower and deeper.

I noticed how she propped her left leg on a cushion when we sat cross-legged.  I know it frustrates her so much to find she has limited motion in that hip, an occurrence that seems to have come out of the blue a few months ago.  She used to pride herself on her open-hipped flexibility.  She's trying to figure out what is wrong, and has tried to deny the pain and force her hip open and her leg to stretch into a nice flat space.  But I told her she needs to respect her body and what her body needs in every moment.   She listened and also doubled up her blanket under her right knee, which has been giving her fits too.  I reminded her to respect her body's changing needs; there is nothing wrong with that.  Body awareness is one of yoga's many gifts.

My friend has been thinking, talking, and meditating a lot on the realities of growing older.  She abhors the ageism that culture uses to define older people -- especially the assumed disintegration of body and mind that are "inevitable".  She is well aware of the realities of every age and stage of life and has learned that with each there are joys and challenges.   She won't let anyone put her into a stereotyped box of characteristics and expectations.  So what if her hip and knee hurt?

She thinks of how overwhelmed and stressed she was when she was younger full-on into parenting her sons, working full time, helping her mother through difficult transitions with dementia.   She couldn't sleep, got depressed, and had severe back pain.  All that is behind her now.  Life changes, bodies change.  We take control of what we can, and accept what we can't, hopefully with some grace and determination.  She's older now, and glad to live at a more leisurely pace, with the time and freedom to focus on mind, body, and spirit.

When Karen told us about a class she is taking, the first session of which focused on being your own best friend, I looked down at my legs stretched out in front of me on the mat, when everyone else had their legs seemingly tucked effortlessly back under them in Hero's Pose.  I thought to myself, "Hello, dear friend.  I'm so glad I brought you to class today, so glad you are taking care of that sore hip.  No matter what happens in life, I'm here for you..."  That "best friend" I brought to class was me!

Are you your own best friend?  Do you listen to yourself?  Respect yourself?  Seek to understand and support yourself?  Are you gentle with yourself?  Do you withhold harsh judgements of yourself?  Do you truly love yourself as you would your best friend?

Try it.  It feels good. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com

YOGA AND S-E-X

She's not going to go there, is she?  Yes!  Yes, indeed!  She IS going to go there!

Let's talk about sex.

At class a few months ago, we were giggling about keeping our joints loose and "juicy" (getting the synovial fluid moving) and a woman next to me blurted out -- this is also good for sex!  She and I cracked up!  I'm not sure if anyone else heard her.  She whispered, "You should blog about this!"

So here I am, after hemming and hawing about broaching the topic here.  Some people have delicate sensibilities when it comes to the "S" word.  But we know that yoga is life and for most of us at some time or another, frequently or infrequently, sex is a part of life, right?  And that being the case, Yoga might have some benefit in improving our sexual selves.

It's obvious, if you think about it in this context.  Yoga increases flexibility, allows us to move into various interesting shapes and postures, keeps those "juices" flowing, increases strength, balance and confidence, and sharpens concentration and mindfulness as we clear our minds of chit-chat and find the open space of being egoless-ly in the moment.

Hurt-y backs, stiff knees, closed hips and jib-jabber racing thoughts do not make for a relaxed and satisfying sexual experience.  As in Yoga, it's not a positive "ooh-ahh" experience if you've grit your teeth and knotted your brow into a headache just to endure and get through it.  (Also, as in yoga class, do NOT look at the clock!)

So even if intuitively I figured yoga might be of benefit in this most intimate of human expressions, I didn't know exactly which poses might be of most benefit.  So, of course I Googled "yoga and sex".

I have made this sacrifice for the sake of this blog with some trepidation.  I know my Facebook ads and Amazon pitches will now be somewhat risqué.  I always worry about who will access my computer and see my search history when I die.  Let me say right here: IT'S BLOG RESEARCH!

I found this article: https://www.doyouyoga.com/7-fabulous-yoga-poses-to-your-increase-libido/ to be of interest.  It's short and illustrated with a bit more detail than I show below.  Read it.  But here are the poses we do all the time that you may be surprised to learn will increase your libido!

1.  Cat/Cow (kegel builder)
2.  Bound Angle (hip opener)
3.  Pigeon (deep hip opener)
4.  Eagle (releases blood flow to pelvic area)
5.  Bridge (stretch hip flexors/tones vagina)
6.  Downward Dog (eases muscle tension in back)
7.  Wide Legged Straddle (releases blood flow to pelvic area, increases vitality)
8.  Kegels, kegles, kegles.  (Mula Bondha)

I am a bit suspicious that this article was written with women in mind, even if one of the photos demo-ing the poses is a man.   So just to be balanced, may I suggest adding Plank?

I think I'll leave it right there with this topic, even though I'm sure there is SO MUCH MORE to explore.

Have fun experimenting and remember....yoga is the yoking of mind and body, being present in the moment and finding love and compassion for all, in all you do.  That sex thing too. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit: https://www.doyouyoga.com

BAD RESORT YOGA

Why is resort yoga so frustrating?

I'm on vacation and tried the yoga offering here at the resort.  Again.  I've written blog posts in the past about my resort yoga experiences.  (Find them in the blog post index under headings:  In and Out of the Studio and Wardrobe)   I keep trying, but geez....

I met the yoga group at the appointed hour at the fitness center, chose a beat up, frayed, sandy mat from the cart where they were stored, wondering how often they are cleaned.   We followed the instructor through the gardens to the beach, like little chicks following the mother hen.  We unfurled our mats under a shade tree and began.

With no preliminaries, she had us immediately stand in Mountain Pose and then rise up on tiptoes for "balancing pose"....and we were off on what she announced would be a gentle class.  It was, for the most part, but a bit disjointed and weirdly constructed as one move didn't necessarily flow into the next.  Random Yoga.  Also, she had this auto-pilot thing she did (I've noticed this so many times with resort yoga instructors),  where even with her eyes closed, or facing away from us, she'd say, "Good job!  Beautiful!"  HOW DID SHE KNOW?  She wasn't looking at us!  It sort of cracked me up.  We could have been writhing in pain or flipping her the bird and she'd say, "Good job!"

I have some suggestions:

First of all, we are all here from somewhere else, right?  How about taking the first 5 minutes of the class welcoming us?  Maybe go around and ask us to share our names and where we are from and if we have ever done yoga before or have any injuries or needs she should be aware of.  Seems that would help build a little community, and allow her to know how best to support our practice.  Makes sense to me.

Also, how about reminding us to breathe, to only do what we can and no more, to skip anything that hurts.  I always see at least one or two in the class at resort yoga grimacing or looking embarrassed by their inability to do the pose.  There are never adequate (or any) props.  Help us out a little!   (Of course there are always also a couple of Yoga Journal models effortlessly moving into each pose in proper alignment with their rockin' fit bodies mocking the rest of us.)

At one point she did give us an alternative option for a "resting pose" -- "Take either Child's Pose or Pigeon, your choice."  Hmmmm... OK.   I don't see those as equivalent resting poses, and I have zero hours of teacher training, so what do I know?  And this may be nitpicking, but she kept calling the Downward Dog pose, "Downward Doggie".  No.  Just no.

I know these instructors see an ever-changing parade of tourists and it all becomes "just a job" at some point.  I get that.  She was friendly enough, as they all are, but I get the strong impression they are most eager to finish the hour and move on to whatever else they'd rather be doing.

And yoga in public is weird too.  We are on the beach, with people walking by, oggling our Happy Baby pose wide spread legs in the air above prominent butts.  It felt a little exhibitionist actually.

When it was time for Savasana, we lay in silence, thinking the only sound we hear would be the waves crashing to shore, the gentle breeze in the palms above us....but no.  A woman on her cell phone stood about 10 feet away giving a verbal description of her surroundings to someone back home, including, "... and I'm watching some people doing Yoga on the beach, or something..."

Or something, indeed.  ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  www.pixaby.com

A FRIENDLY REMINDER TO THE PRESIDENT

I'm worried about our President.  I fear this job is taking a toll on him and he's only a little over a year into his contract.  I'm pretty sure he has ditched his Yoga practice.  I see all the signs...

First of all, at any age we need to stay strong and flexible to stay in good health, but it's even more important as we grow older.  And he is older. I don't know if his golf game is doing all it could for his physical suppleness.  A few Twists might loosen up his back and provide more range of motion for that golf swing.  He might also find a few Forward Folds would make setting his tee or picking up his ball less onerous.  (Or is that the caddy's job?  I  know little about golf and less about a caddy's job description.)  I note that he likes to ride in the golf cart too.  Maybe walking would be a good idea.  I read that his weight is one pound less than officially obese.  He might want to do a Thread the Needle on each side to help expand those hip joints.  He could also spend some time with the rollers to loosen the fascia and improve his walking gait.  Just a suggestion.

As we all know, Yoga isn't just about physical exercise; it also about peace of mind.  I think the President seems a little tense.  I've never heard him laugh.  He smiles occasionally, but it looks forced.  I get it; he has a lot on his mind.  But maybe a few "Laughing Yoga" classes would loosen him up and relax him a bit.   He tends to take himself rather seriously.

Yoga is ultimately about self-awareness and finding inner calm.  I bet if he stepped up his yoga and meditation practice, he'd be less apt to awaken at dawn after fitful sleep and find himself Tweeting provocative scattershot messages that he often has to revise in the light of day.  Sir, yes, people will disappoint, will misunderstand, will disagree, but name-calling is beneath the dignity of your office.  Take a deep breath in...hold...let it all slowly out.  See?  Better!

When we begin to accept ourselves in all our contradictory glory, to realize the folly of trying to always be in control, to give up judgements, and to embrace the wondrous diversity of this universe, we are better able to let go of Ego and find compassion for others.   We see in them the same fears, joys, challenges, and victories we find in ourselves.  We naturally want to reach out a helping hand, especially to those most vulnerable, and find collaborative solutions to seemingly intractable problems.  Best of all, we stop being afraid of what is "different", because isn't "different" merely a trick of perspective?  Once we deeply realize we are all one, any need to punish, exploit, or degrade vanishes.  Do unto others, basically.

So, anyway.  New York is chock-a-block full of yoga studios and meditation sangas.  I'm sure he has taken ample advantage of these opportunities in his NYC life.  I understand he's still getting settled in D.C. and learning on the job, since he showed up with no experience.  Been there, done that.  Not easy.  But it's time to get back at it!

As his Administration seems to have some degree of turnover, perhaps he will find he can accommodate a yoga instructor in the West Wing.  He could do his practice during morning "executive time", maybe slip in a few Partner Yoga sessions with Melania!  It's better than being a couch potato, noshing on cheeseburgers,  listening to the TV pundits, whose advice he'd be silly to take.  I'm sure he knows that.

I think I'll hop on Twitter and urge him to get back to his yoga and meditation practices.  I think we'd all feel better.  ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

BAG OF HAMMERS, REDUX

A few years ago I wrote a post on this blog called "Bag of Hammers Pose"  about doing a whole class with blocks propped beneath various body parts.  It hurt.  I didn't like it.  http://circlingthemat.blogspot.com/2015/02/bag-of-hammers-pose.html,

I was reminded of that post this morning when I went to the Inside Out Yoga Massage class, my second visit to this offering.  Based on the first class I attended I knew a bit about what to expect.  We would massage our bodies using props -- such as soft, cushy balls (feels good) and smaller, hard rubber balls (feels less good).

So, that's what we did and like the first time I attended this class, I felt like a rank beginner.  I forgot to pick up the twin pack of therapy balls from the basket so Robin, our instructor, had to bring them to me.  I tried to follow her directions but couldn't seem to find the right spot in my hip flexor area, or at least wasn't sure if I found the right spot, when she had us lie belly down on first the cushy ball, then the harder ball to "massage" that area.  I rolled around and followed directions, but felt uncoordinated and unsure and it was a little hurt-y.  Then we went on to rolling both balls on the sides of our hips and buttocks with me having the same result -- not sure if I was doing it right; not sure if I was hitting the designated spot.  I was sure, however, that those small rubber balls can feel a bit torturous on tender muscles.

Being one to push for results, however, I called up the old maxim from Jane Fonda Aerobic Home Video days -- "No pain, no gain."  Then I told myself that little bit of advice it antithetical to good yoga, so I backed off to a more comfortable pressure.

Next we placed the balls under our sacrum, being encouraged to roll our bodies up and over the balls so that they massaged either side of the spine all the way to the shoulder area.  I kept losing my balance and falling off the balls.  My shoulder got tired holding my body weight aloft, so I squirmed and struggled to find a comfortable posture for this move, unsuccessfully.  Then I realized I was unable to move much at all and got "stuck", as did my shirt, which kept rolling up with the balls and exposing my back fat.  Not a good look.

But I hung in there.  Yes, indeed-y.  I trusted Robin's excellent instruction and assurance that these movements, though slight, were mighty and would result in looser fascia and musculature allowing for better posture and walking gait, thus keep us limber and upright into our more Golden than they already are Years.  And I'm all for that!

She suggested we might want to purchase our own torture (I mean, "therapy") balls and roll around at home while doing a Netflix binge.  At this point I prefer a soft sofa and my blankie, but I do believe there is benefit, so I'll keep coming back to class until I'm more proficient and less apt to toss those balls into the trash heap of other well-intentioned exercise equipment gathering dust in my closet.

I'm sure I'll get there, even if Robin did compare the whole enterprise to the experience of giving birth -- breathe and relax into it.  I guess there is value in breathing through discomfort.  That trick has gotten me through many rough spots in my life, leaving me stronger and more flexible, both physically and emotionally, even if there isn't a bouncing bundle of joy to show for it every time.

(P.S.  I hope I didn't scare you off -- please come to Inside Out Yoga Massage.  There are smiles, even laughter, amongst the grimaces, I promise!  If nothing else, you can laugh at me; I'm sure I was quite a sight!  😂) ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

CELEBRATE DISCOMFORT!

Yes, it sounds counter-intuitive.  But sometimes being uncomfortable offers great insights into where we can grow.

Elizabeth led us through a series of therapeutic asanas in class this week, where as is typical, some people easily folded into whatever posture she was guiding, and others, well, not so much.  Elizabeth said she (like me) used to compare herself to the practitioner on the next mat and berate herself for not being as flexible, not being able to do the pose or hold the pose.  But then she came to realize that instead, she could be excited about those challenges!  If it's easy, that's not where one needs to work.  It's the challenging poses that show us where we are weak, stiff, sore, and unbalanced.  Instead of lamenting this, we can say...."Yay!  My body is showing me where it needs me to focus!"  Putting attention and intention in this area will result in big benefits in growing stronger, more supple, and balanced over time.

Makes sense, right?

The other thing that happened at that class was the number of people who showed up on a rainy, blustery Wednesday morning.  There were 30 people jammed into the studio, with one late-comer who decided to unfurl her mat in the entryway and follow along through the open door.  Being the sensitive teacher she is, Elizabeth immediately acknowledged that the unusually close proximity to our "neighbor" on the next mat might be uncomfortable for some people.  We generally have the luxury of spreading out more at Yoga Circle.  (I've seen big city classes where mats are about 6 inches from each other on all sides!)

As she asked us to consider how this felt, and to acknowledge without judgment, this feeling, I realized that I did, indeed, feel a bit crowded and uncomfortable.  I never want to be in anyone's way nor intrude in any way on their space.  And I don't really like people invading my space either.  We Americans have a need for "personal space" that is a greater distance than in some cultures and this is especially true of we introverts.  But what I discovered as the class went on was that without even really interacting with those around me I started to feel close to them, in a "friendly" way.  We were a community of sorts and I felt warmed by the presence of those close to my mat.

The following day, with its brilliant blue sky and sunshine, fewer folks came to class.  There were seven of us and we had vast expanses of space around us.  I ended up feeling a bit lonely!  I loved that I wasn't worried about intruding on anyone,  but I also realized that the energy was dispersed and I felt more alone in my practice.

I learned more about my own comfort by experiencing and acknowledging my discomfort in both classes.  Just as Elizabeth had taught us -- there is wisdom to be found in focusing on that muscle which needs more stretching.  I learned I can adjust to a crowd; I feel lonelier than I thought I would when in sparsely populated areas; and my Goldilocks middle ground is appreciated when it happens, but I can be OK with whatever comes.

Celebrate discomfort! ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_racorn'>racorn / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

I keep forgetting there are two new classes since the first of the year, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, both at 8:30 a.m.  I'm a regular in the 10:00 a.m. classes, but 8:30 is a great alternative for me, especially on Tuesdays when I volunteer in my granddaughter's class later in the morning.

Yesterday I remembered in time and got myself to Robin's "Inside and Outside Yoga Massage" class. I had no idea what to expect, but anything with the word "massage" in it sounds good to me.

First she distributed a variety of differently-sized "therapy balls".  I was curious and hoped we would spend a bit of time on my plantar fasciitis problem.  I've been rolling a tennis ball under that foot for over a month and still the pain is there.

We did do that, but in a seated position, taking one of the smallest balls in hand and rubbing it from toe to heel along the edges and bottom of each of our feet, stretching and kneading the fascia in that area.  We also stood and rolled them beneath our feet, as I'm accustomed to doing.

At one point, we  took the larger balls and rolled them from Achilles tendon to buttocks , all along the backside of our legs, again putting kneading pressure on our backside fascia.

Next we got the foam rollers out and lay tummy down on top of them rolling them along our front thighs, again working the fascia in that area.  The fascia is the "Saran Wrap" that encases the musculature all over our bodies and which when not stretched can get tight and bind us in uncomfortable and restricting positions.  Moving becomes painful.  Better to "work the fascia" by stretching and/or utilizing various therapy props to loosen things up.  It's also great to break up scar tissue.

When she suggested turning to our sides and rolling the balls along our I.T. band -- the band of thick fascia along the outside of our legs -- I was feeling rather smug.  So far I hadn't experience much discomfort and was giving myself at least a "B+" on the fascia test.  Imagine my surprise when I yelped at the pain I felt as the ball under my leg put pressure on my I.T. band and caused me some considerable pain!  Yowza!  I tried to grit my teeth and proceed, but I've learned not to hurt myself in yoga class, so I backed off.  Astute teacher that she is, Robin noticed a couple of us with grimaces on our faces and offered larger, softer therapy balls as an alternative.  That was much better, but still...that I.T. band area was tender!

After class I happened to have a coffee date with a good friend, who is an internationally renowned Pilates instructor.  I told her about my experience and she said that is super common.  The I.T. band area often gives people pause and to go slow and listen to the pain.  I'll do that!

I'll also pay attention to stretching that area more often, especially after sitting for long periods of time.  I'll also grab a softer ball next time!  And I'll be back.  I think this inside/outside massage thing is pretty great.  Give it a try!  (Balls for sale at Yoga Circle!)

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit:  https://www.tuneupfitness.com

POSSESSED

I have no idea who or what took over my mind and body last week.  I had a couple of weird dreams, but I thought I'd set those aside when I awoke.  Besides, the psychedelic ruminations of the subconscious mind aren't really real, are they?  Hmmmm....

On Wednesday I showed up to class feeling a bit tired (see weird, sleep-depriving dreams above), but ready for a good class.  Only a few minutes into it, however, I started to worry that I'd contracted an exotic affliction which prevented my joints from bending and interfered with my muscles' ability to hold me up.  I was like the Tin Man clutching the empty oil can.  I could scarcely move!  Every pose felt like the first time I tried yoga 20 years ago and hated it.  At least this time I knew something was "off" and could make adjustments.  I started grabbing props, modifying poses, and resting a lot.  I made it through the class and felt the better for it -- more flexible at the end.  But I still don't know what had made me so stiff and weak out of the blue.  Mysteries of the body.

Then came Thursday.  I went to class wondering how it would go.  By 15 minutes in I started to question my body again.  Every pose felt effortless!  I felt strong and flexible in a class that was more challenging that the previous day's class had been!  I felt like Wonder Woman -- Yogi Extraordinaire! I was floating through the class when suddenly emotion overwhelmed me and in my favorite resting pose, Child's Pose, I felt tears spring to my eyes.  I was caught by the gratitude for my practice, for Yoga Circle surrounding me in beauty, by my sister and fellow Yogis, and maybe most especially by Karen's encouraging, calming, familiar cadences from the front of the room, guiding us through familiar poses and reminding us to breathe and be in this moment.  I don't know where that emotion came from out of the blue.  Mysteries of the mind/spirit.

It seems some people move through life on an even keel, one day much like the other, mind/body/spirit all driving in unison down the highway of life in a straight line from here to there.  Not so for me.  I seem to weave all over the  road, making pit stops for body tune-ups, meandering into sadness/depression, broken down with anxiety, flying fast with joy my hair blowing in the wind, all the while trying but often failing to reach the destination I set out to reach.  I try, with every fork in the road, to stay awake and aware that there is a lesson to learn either way I go.

That has been the lesson of yoga for me; to be present to every changing moment; to accept the "is-ness" of what is happening; and to use the tools of yoga like a roadmap to get back on course.  Letting go of expectations, I embraced my body's needs on Wednesday and letting go again, I embraced my body's victory on Thursday.   All the while I noticed my mind judging and questioning, celebrating and appreciating.  I let my emotions spill over as tears.

Not that it's always easy to be in a state of acceptance.  Sometimes I just feel "possessed" and wonder:  "Now what's happening?!?"  Some days the best I can do is just stay on the road, no matter where it leads or how I feel about going there. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit: Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_captblack76'>captblack76 / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

WHEN NO MEANS YES AND YES MEANS NO

Most of us who practice yoga, especially those brand new to the practice, want to do it "right".  We've seen the pretzel-y shapes bodies assume in full-out advanced yoga poses and assume that's the way we all should look on the mat.  Not so.  Or at least not right away.  And maybe never.  Or maybe for awhile, but not forever.

We all come to the practice of yoga with the bodies we have at any given time, on any given day.  Some are supple, flexible, and strong.  Some carry extra weight, have stiff joints, or weak muscles.  Some are strong on one side, weak on the other.  Some are recovering from injuries.  Some have limitations that have been, or will be, lifelong.  If yoga was only for the fit, the whole point of it would be lost.  We come to yoga for peace, calm, and acceptance of what is -- while also seeing the possibilities for what might be a way to move toward greater emotional, spiritual, and physical health.

In class last week, Karen assisted new students with finding the shape of the pose she was demonstrating.   I overheard the words, "yes" and "no" in equal number.  I thought this was a great exchange between teacher and student.  I even silently said a few "yeses" and "nos" during the practice myself.  I have been an irregular practitioner for a few weeks and am suffering through a painful bout of plantar fasciitis.  I'm not feeling my strongest, most flexible self right now in spite of my 10 years of practice.  (I didn't even start yoga until I was 57.  See?  Hope for everyone!)

I notice the tendency in myself and others, again especially new students, to hesitate to say "no" to a pose.  We want to push, to please the teacher, to feel competent.  But saying "no" when a pose is too challenging or causes discomfort is really a "yes" to your body and to taking care of yourself.  That "no" is really a "yes" to committing to getting stronger and more flexible over time...and to not rushing and likely hurting yourself by pushing too far, too soon.

In the process of learning what is a "no" we also learn what is a "yes" and may find delight in a body that teaches us to pay attention to what pleases us as well as what hurts us.  Backing off a "no" pose and finding the "yes" sweet spot is cause for celebration.  Saying "yes" to an easier form of the pose is a strong "no" to denying your own limitations.

We all want to feel competent, to be flexible, strong, and balanced.  Sometimes finding the "yeses" and "nos" that guide us there is the best and most important lesson we can learn... on the mat and off.

Noticing when and where we deny our true selves and when and where we embrace our true selves; when and where we choose to grow and when and where we choose to remain stuck --  those are the lessons of yoga we take into our homes, families, workplaces, and community.

Let your practice on your mat be your guide.  Your body will say "yes" when it feels good, "no" when it doesn't, and maybe even "not yet" when you see the possibility of moving to "yes".  Like I always say...Yoga is life. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Picture Credit:  Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_sorad'>sorad / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

OH THE NOISE, NOISE, NOISE, NOISE!

The holidays and travels wrecked havoc with my yoga practice schedule.  When I showed up in class this week after a long hiatus, I was sore, stiff, and ready to dive back in.  Plus, I'd somehow developed some foot pain reminiscent of plantar fasciitis.  (Blaming the new boots I wore to walk many miles in downtown Seattle during a recent stay.) I asked our teacher, Elizabeth, if she could devote some time to foot pain issues.

Class was wonderful -- slow, gentle, therapeutic -- and my feet got lots of loving attention.  When it was time for savasana, I was eager to sink into a time of quiet meditation and gratitude.

Then the racket began.  There is construction going on across the already busy and sometimes noisy street in front of the studio.  But just as we settled onto our mats, a roaring sound emanated and continued for the whole time we lay on our mats.  It sounded like a gigantic lawnmower, or hedge trimmer, or hole borer -- an engine whining loudly.  It also sounded like it was aimed directly at the glass wall where I was cozied up on the street side of the studio.  I wondered if some behemoth machinery was going to breach the wall at some point and run me over.  (This is the mind of an anxiety-prone person; worst case scenarios prevail.)

When Elizabeth brought us out of the savasana she immediately acknowledged the "elephant" in the room.  (Yes!  Maybe it was a bellowing elephant!) and reminded us that conditions are not always perfect, but life in the moment is.  She suggested that when we are unexpectedly distracted by a sound like that, the idea is to lean into the sound, not try to mentally run from it or resent it.   It was then I realized that I'd had a tandem mind game going on in savasana.  Part of me just wanted to identify what it was; it was all I could do not to jump up and try to see through the frosted glass.  The other part of me heard the variations of the sound, paying attending to the waxing and waning of the droning engine, noting that the sound was quite varied and almost musical as the intonations went on.

It's easy to practice and meditate in what we might think of as "perfect" conditions -- all those photos of solitary yogis on mountaintops or beaches or forests.  But real life is not like that.  Our practice happens in living rooms, bedrooms, and noisy yoga studios.  Yoga is life and life is far from perfect.  Each moment is ours to inhabit, whether it be taking deep, calming breaths on a crowded elevator, standing to stretch after long hours in front of the computer, or meditating to the sounds of traffic.  The more we practice, the better we become at being free from attachments to expectations -- and the happier we will be, come what may. ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com