DON'T BE ME!

Owwww!  Eeeeehhhh!  Yowza!  I don't think I shouted out loud, but the gritted teeth grimace on my face must have told the story loud and clear.   My knee was in some kinda pain trying to do Crescent Lunge again the other day.  I've written about this before  (Patella Panic) so you would think I'd have learned my lesson: Props.

I had my blanket under my knee, but that basically doesn't help at all.  Karen suggested a bean bag addition.  That did help and I joyfully stretched into the full pose -- for a moment.  But I knew I couldn't hold it for very long.  I just have creaky knees that do not like to bend or bear weight in certain ways.  I need A LOT of padding and my knee at just the right angle.

Why can't I learn that I need props to help me in this area?  It's a pride thing; an ego thing.  It's obviously a lesson I have to keep learning.  The next day Elizabeth led us in basically the same posture but this time with a block under the knee.   I thought that would be a hopeless prop (not soft enough) but found it surprisingly supportive to my knees.  Trial and error.

Most interesting in all of this is the story I tell myself about what is the "right" way to do yoga and what is the "wrong" (cheating) way.   This is so ridiculous.  An article I read on preventing yoga injuries (http://preventyogainjury.blogspot.com/2013/02/3-things-you-must-do-to-keep-you-knees.html) listed the following:

Poses that Engage the Knee: Bound Angle, Bridge, Camel, Cat, Chair, Child's, Cobbler, Cow, Cow's Face, Crescent Lunge, Cross Legged, Eagle, Extended Puppy, Extended Side Angle, Fire Log, Frog, Garland, Gate, Goddess, Half Circle, Half Frog, Happy Baby, Head to Knee Forward Bend, Hero, Heron, King Pigeon, Knee to Chest, Lotus, Low Lunge, Monkey, One Legged Pigeon, Powerful, Rabbit, Reclining Bound Angle, Reclining Hero, Rotating Standing Leg Stretch, Runner Lunge, Sage Bharadvaj, Seal of Yoga, Squat, Sun Bird, Supine Head to Toe, Table, Thread the Needle, Three Faced Forward Bend, UpwardFacing Bow, Warrior I, Warrior II, Wheel

Given this number (granted I don't think I've tried all of them), that I only have trouble with Crescent and Hero's poses should be cause for celebration!  Instead, I get down on myself and think I "should" be able to do them.

Does this happen to you?  Are you a little hard on yourself?  Do you ever move into a pose that is too hard on your tender joints and tight muscles?  Finding the "edge" between challenge and ease can be tricky.  But hurty-ness is a a big red flag that you are over the edge into the danger zone.

So, DO NOT BE ME!  Grab a prop.  Help model for me and others that it's OK to use the whole arsenal of blankets, blocks, straps, wedges, bean bags -- and flat out opting out of a pose -- to keep our sweet bodies safe and strong in yoga class.

I'm learning this lesson very slowly, but next time I'll skip the grimace and grab the block! ©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit:  annamoskvina@123rf.com

COMING HOME TO OURSELVES ON THE MAT

Do you remember when you first stepped onto a yoga mat?  Or showed up for your first class?  I do.

But more than remembering the "when", I remember the "why".  It was a time (8 or so years ago) when I was constantly stressed with a full-time job,  had two sons in college who weren't exactly taking full advantage of the academic possibilities as much as the social ones, and caring for a mother who needed more and more time and attention as dementia took hold of her previously facile brain.  I felt like I was falling apart inside and out.

After much cajoling and many recommendations I came to Yoga Circle Studio.   It wasn't always easy; in fact, at first it was hard.  I was out of shape, overweight, and feeling depressed.  I judged myself mercilessly.  But still....there was something there that I needed.  So I kept coming back and realized that on some level I felt like I'd come home.  I'd come home to myself.

Sometimes when I look around at the classes I usually attend -- the 10:00 a.m. weekday classes -- I see a lot of people who are around my age.  My age being in league with those who are retired, or nearly so, whose children are likely raised, who maybe have a grandchild or two.  Who else can regularly show up at a 10:00 a.m. class???  When I was younger I had a toddler and a baby hanging on me at about that time of morning, or was the Classroom PTA Mom, or was working full-time.  I am at a stage of life now that allows me to be anywhere I want to be at 10:00!  Yay!

This is an age when we get to become reacquainted with ourselves.  We get to put ourselves first at least part of the time; get to carve out a few hours a week to unroll a sticky mat and just be.  We get to say hello to our bodies, feel the life-giving breath come in and go out, settle our minds in the moment.  It's a lovely respite from a life that can still be too busy, but when we focus on the moment, we realize we are at home with ourselves.

The miracle of Yoga is well-publicized these days -- most recently I read an article in the Harvard Health Publication of the Harvard Medical School touting Yoga as one modality in the treatment of depression and anxiety that is on par with medication and even electroconvulsive therapy.  That is high praise and gives hope for a more natural approach to emotional pain.

When I am filled with awe or gratitude, my heart seems to swell with emotion and tears come to my eyes easily.  Last week this happened to me as I lay on my back in one of Elizabeth's classes.  She quietly approached me and asked me to make a minor adjustment in my alignment, whispering that I was perhaps off center due to my scoliosis.   I didn't even recall telling her of my scoliosis, but she remembered.  I felt so "seen", so nurtured by her caring.  Granted I'd had a terrible week filled with anxiety and grief over my brother's last days of illness and then death, so maybe I was primed for the tears, but still....

Again I was filled with gratitude for our teachers and for this practice of challenge and rest, that respects each body and soul, that lets us slowly remold and rewire body and brain, that welcomes us home to loving ourselves.

I don't come to class so much for the exercise as for the healing.  How about you?©

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo Credit: pixabay.com