I'm back with more to report from this book I'm reading (see previous post), called "The Practical Neuroscience of Buddha's Brain: Happiness, Love, and Wisdom". It may take me a few blog posts to get through this; I hope you are still with me.
So the darts -- the "First Dart" is a like when you stub your toe -- it hurts! It causes pain. The "Second Dart(s)" is when you tell yourself a story about what happened -- "Why can't those kids pick up their toys?" "I'm so clumsy!" "Now I will probably have to go to the walk-in clinic, where there will be a long wait, and I'll be late for coffee with Sally...if I can even walk at all!" Those Second Darts cause suffering.
Can you relate? I sure can! Have you heard the saying that "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional"? Yes, we will stub our toes as we go through life. But the story we tell, the conflict we create, the emotional baggage we pack around each stubbed toe is what will cause us to go on suffering over and over as similar "stubbed toes" accrue -- or even if we just imagine they might.
As much as is possible, just feel the hurt; let go of the suffering by understanding that the story you tell yourself is likely to have a longer-lasting impact on your life's "pain".
But what about our memories? They are created explicitly -- the actual memory of a specific event. But they are also hidden implicitly -- the feelings and emotions that remain after the memory itself has faded. And that trickster brain, again, seems to have a "thing" about tilting implicit memories" in a negative direction, even when most of our experiences are actually positive." Do you find this to be true? I'm sure I had a very normal and comfortable childhood, with loving parents and a puppy. So why do I sort of feel like things were "not good"? Well, because there were some not so very great incidents, as is true for all families, and those want to push their way to the forefront of my memory bank, leaving the happy struggling to be seen, like the good kid who is ignored cuz the troublemaker gets all the attention.
What to do? Again, when conjuring up memories and getting that vague sense of "not good", tell that troublemaker to take a seat in the corner and call on the good kid to show you a delightful new card trick. We can help our brains overcome the propensity toward the negative by consciously focusing on the positive. Meditation is a great time to do this and Mindfulness Meditation (basically being aware of every moment as you go about your day) is even better.
Now on to mind-body connection -- that which we focus upon in our Yoga Practice. How does our mind and body communicate? Well, we have the autonomic nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system, and the parasympathetic nervous system. They are like an orchestra playing and each has an important role. But it's the parasympathetic nervous system we want to nurture to keep us on an even keel and feeling safer and at peace. It's the one that we want to train to relax us. How?
Come to Yoga class! Those who practice Yoga should find the following parasympathetic nervous system stimulators familiar: diaphragmatic breathing, progressive relaxation, mindfulness of the body, imagery, breathing to balance the heartbeat, meditation. All of these are a part of almost every yoga class as we use the asana (poses) linked to the breath to open and focus the relaxation response. All of these, whether you are in class, flying on a airplane, sitting in traffic, or walking down a dark street alone, will help calm your fears. This is not to say you won't respond when a REAL threat comes your way -- your sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, or freeze) will rev up in a heartbeat. But with these tools in your toolbox, imagined threats will fade and your Buddha Brain will get stronger, more resilient, and less anxious and overwhelmed with stress hormones. Peace and equanimity will be yours.
As a person who seems to have acquired Anxiety as a roommate, I'm still working on all of this. As always, it's a practice, yet one worth pursuing if ya wanna get Buddha's Brain. And who doesn't?©
Namaste, donnajurene
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com
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