A Native American Elder, when asked how she had become so wise, so happy, and so respected answered: "In my heart, there are two wolves; a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. It all depends on which one I feed each day."
Well, that about says it, doesn't it? How about you? Does your "wolf of hate" roar when you make a mistake? Or do you hear that roar when the neighbor mows his lawn at 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning? Or the guy in the pick-up truck cuts you off on the freeway? Or maybe, just maybe, when a presidential candidate you are not supporting surges ahead in the polls? Every time we fall into the habit of snarling and growling, we are feeding the wolf of hate. That doesn't serve us or our Buddha Brain.
As it turns out, the "wolf of love" has evolved to be much more powerful, even if we don't hear as much about it on the evening news. Empathy and compassion helped our species survive and thrive. We have neurons that fire and brain sections that light up like a Christmas tree when we feel what another feels, when we act on compassionate impulses, all of which makes us want to attach to another, which is love, which feels darned good.
The "wolf of love" sees all as interconnected. The "wolf of hate" sees "us" vs. "them" -- also a survival tool, but one that so easily gets out of whack. We might want to howl at any hint of threat, but we must gain some experience in restraining the "wolf of hate" when there is no threat at all, when "different" is just "different", not dangerous.
Empathy paves the way; being comfortable with closeness, strengthening the brain circuits for compassion, and learning to communicate clearly and effectively will help us find places of connection and calm where before we saw only anxiety and fear.
One way to practice this skill is to practice a Loving-Kindness Meditation. It's easy, but not so simple. Here is the beginner version:
Sit comfortably and breathe deeply. Call into your mind's eye someone you love to pieces -- spouse, child, friend -- and say, "May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease."
Next, call into your mind's eye someone who is sort of neutral to you, perhaps the Safeway checker or the guy you nodded to in the elevator. Holding this person in your sight, again repeat, "May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease."
Now the tricky part: Call into your mind's eye someone you don't like, someone who is your nemesis, or enemy. You know where this is going, right? Yep. Hold this person in your meditation and say, "May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease." Whew! Tough one, huh? But really, if that person lived in a fully happy, peaceful, healthy way, would they have to be a jerk? No; so let's wish them well; maybe it will help.
One more person is worthy of your Loving-Kindness, of course. You. And sometimes it's hardest to give ourselves the gift of love. Try it. Repeat, "May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease."
Ahhhh....doesn't that feel good? Feed your "wolf of love" and your Buddha Brain will get stronger and stronger.©
Namaste, donnajurene
Photo Credit: pixabay.com
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