NON-PERFECTING BALANCE

I guess it's cheating a little to include author Elizabeth Gilbert's essay here about the myth of finding balance in life, since I'M the one who is supposed to be coming up with brilliant insights for this blog, but I realize I can't say it any better than she already has.  http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/balance-reconsidered-good-morning-loves-so-the-other-night-someone-a/

What her essay did prompt me to think about was how hard I can be on myself for not always getting the balancing poses right in yoga class.  I find them to be challenging most of the time, yet I see the parallels to life each time I fall out of a balance.  Most of the time I'm distracted or trying too hard or sore and tired…all the ways in which LIFE also manifests in times of frustration and self-doubt.  And almost every time I berate myself for my "failure".

Balance is that thing we seem to crave in these busy, hectic, abundant times and if I can't even stay in tree pose, how am I supposed to find peace in the rush and crush of craziness we call modern life?

Here's a challenge…what if I stop trying?  What if I decide to keep my toe on the floor once in awhile  -- on purpose! -- and do an easy tree pose, just breathing into the feeling of steady and solid, maybe closing my eyes and letting the peace of the pose wash over me?

Maybe some days, finding my "edge" is just finding a place of "this feels so good" and being content with that, at least for a time. ©

Namaste...donnajurene

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OOPS. DID I DO THAT?

And now, Delicate Flowers, it's time to address the unmentionable….the sounds, the sweats, the sights, and scenes we create in Yoga class.

Read this: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/lacey-haynes/yoga-fart_b_3633367.html

Have you ever felt the full effect of Pavanamuktasana (wind relieving pose)?  C'mon, raise your hand!  We'll wait….

Oh, it's what we all dread, right?  "Please, please, please don't let it be me!"  I know a couple of women who have become so mortified by the little "toot" they emitted in class that they never went back!  Such a shame to be so ashamed of a normal bodily function.  But I do get it….

It happened to me -- once -- and not at Yoga Circle, so if you think you were there, you weren't!  It's always sort of a surprise, right?  I was between two men (drats!) and of course the room seemed to be dead quiet, but likely the instructor was prattling away, I don't recall exactly.  And likely it wasn't the sonic boom-sound I thought it was, but still….I knew and I quickly looked around to see if anyone's head had jerked in my direction.  Nope.  So discreet.  I was a bit embarrassed, but then thought, "Oh well…we'll all live,"  and just went on with the class.   (This is the sort of shrug-off one does when one reaches a "certain age" -- not much seems so overly dire as it used to.)

Same with my tears.  I cry fairly often in Yoga class.  Not like my friend who has literally sobbed with grief and gratitude; true snot-running sobs.  (So sweet and cathartic.)  But I have cried with tears running down my cheeks -- sometimes from frustration over the harsh judgements I lay on myself, sometimes with gratitude for my strength and power, sometimes when tender thoughts come unbidden in the quiet, deep moments of shavasana.  Tears heal.  It's OK.

And falling out of poses and all the rest?  Yep.  I can't speak for the errant boy parts mentioned in the article.  I've never witnessed that, but I have already written in a previous blog post about a peek-a-boo girl part. These things just happen sometimes.

I think walking into Yoga class means shedding Ego and coming to the mat as the juicy, tender, sweet, vulnerable, messy, surprising beings that we are. Don't let that scare you. We're only human. ©

Namaste….donnajurene

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GOOD YOGA DOESN'T HURT

Yoga shouldn't hurt.  That's what I tell people who tell me that it comes with the certainty of injury.  I'm not an athlete and was in pretty sad shape when I started practicing and I've never been hurt by my practice.  I credit the great instructors at Yoga Circle for being attentive to student needs, to always offering modification examples, to providing props and tips and constant reminders not to push too hard into a pose.  Have I been sore the next day at times?  Yep.  Good sore.  The sore that says muscles have been worked and are getting stronger.  I've learned I need to watch those backbends -- modify! modify! modify!  -- and that's fine; I'm not posing for the cover of Yoga Journal!

So last week, when I was at a dance retreat, I went to an early morning yoga class.  I had planned ahead and had my mat with me, but that was all.  No props.  There were 6-8 of us in the class.  The instructor was a young woman, with a terrific yoga body.  She started us right out with sun salutations.  Surprisingly, she didn't ask if there were any special issues or needs the students might have.  She didn't warn that the hardwood floor would not be a welcoming landing space for those who had no mats.  She had no blankets or props, offered no modifications.   We just powered through.  I did pretty well, knowing the poses, although the flow was a bit fast for me.  I used my jacket as a pad under my knees when I needed extra cushion.  I didn't do the poses that I didn't want to do; I modified or rested in child's pose.  I went at my own pace.  I have practiced long enough to know my body and to take action on my own behalf.

A couple of students, guys in particular, were more challenged.  I could tell they were not familiar with the poses and were struggling to keep up.  Also, I assumed there was a competitive/competency thing going on that caused them to really push into poses in ways that looked uncomfortable, if not downright painful.

And that's the danger -- to be unfamiliar with the asanas, with an inattentive instructor, and before you know it, you've hurt yourself.   There is a desire to be good at this; to keep up; to look good; to excel, even if none of those things are the goals of yoga to begin with!  And that's my pet peeve --- that we forget the definition of Yoga:

Yoga : a Hindu philosophy that teaches a person to experience inner peace by controlling the body and mind

It is not meant to be merely an exercise routine, a weight loss trick, or an aerobic work-out.  The goal of Yoga is to discipline the mind and body, to find the breath of life, to prepare for meditation, to focus and fine tune our minds through bodily postures that both challenge and nurture (at that much sought for "edge") in order to find true peace.  Strength and flexibility are happy physical side-effects of the practice, not the sole purpose of the practice.

I am sad when I see the teeth-gritting push into a pose.  I am grateful when we are reminded to smile, to laugh, to enjoy!   That's not to say I never find challenge in my practice; I do -- every time -- and not every minute is one of bliss.   Yet, there is satisfaction in challenge and my challenge is a gentle one, looking for the edge and backing off again, resting and moving into another opportunity to focus my mind on what my body is learning to do, another opportunity to breathe into the pose.

I sort of wanted to pummel that teacher at the retreat.  But I decided to practice gratitude instead…mostly gratitude that I'd be coming back to my "home"at Yoga Circle in a few days; back to a place where safety and skill reside side-by-side; a place where laughter is more highly valued than the perfect pose -- and is probably better for the spirit. ©

Namaste...donnajurene

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