How often do you come in to class with your mind racing with thoughts, your muscles tight, your emotions run amok? By the end of class do you feel the same?
I would venture, generally not. Generally spending 90 minutes in the studio moving with the breath, focusing on the form of asana, letting thoughts come and go like clouds passing in the sky allows a transformation to occur that is of benefit to mind, spirit, and body.
But maybe not at first....my first many, many yoga classes were exercises in transforming me from one who was overweight, stiff, and uncoordinated into someone who was sad, frustrated, and self-critical because I "couldn't do it." Couldn't do yoga. Those pretzel-y shapes were impossible, balancing a disaster, bending and stretching an exercise in futility. My racing mind went from the to-do list at home to the "I'm such a klutz; I can't do this; this is dumb" list of ways in which I was putting myself down in comparison to others.
But for some reason completely beyond my understanding, I stuck with it. Eight years into a regular practice I can do most of the poses offered in class, touch my toes in Forward Bend, and calm the racing mind fairly easily. When I am clumsy or can't find the pose, I mostly laugh and accept that on THAT DAY the pose is not mine to do. Maybe another time. Maybe not. I've learned the transformative power of self-acceptance on the mat.
And, since Yoga is Life, that transformative power of self-acceptance is available to us off the mat as well. I may have written here of my battle with depression at times and a teeny tiny affinity toward anxiety. Neither of these states are conducive to self-acceptance. I hate them both, and that means I also hate a part of me. I had quite the struggle with these Twin Demons last winter and ended up in talk therapy for several sessions. My most basic learning there was to practice "radical self-acceptance"; even accepting those parts of myself I want to change and improve, but recognizing that in that moment they were a part of me and had lessons to teach; lessons in compassion, humility, vulnerability, and connection.
I started to see the parallels to my "real life" and life on the mat. Transformation takes time and patience; we are not star yogis at our first class. Learning a new pose often puts us in touch with humility and vulnerability. We reach out to teachers for support and expertise. We slowly put together a few simple poses; we move into deeper stretches one inch at a time; we breathe deeply and fully learning that the breath is the root of life and a naturally calming balm to anxiety and fear so that our backbend becomes a place of joy rather than terror. Just like life.
Do you have stories of transformation? Do you show up at class with all the human concerns of life and it's craziness and leave feeling looser and lighter? Yoga is a transformative practice. Let it be your guide into a new way of living your life off the mat as well. ©
Namaste, donnajurene
Photo Credit: pixabay.com
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