THE 8 LIMBS OF YOGA: 6. DHARANA 7. DHYANA 8. SAMADHI

The entire purpose of yoga is to calm the fluctuations of the mind.  These last three Limbs are often lumped together as a way to do just that.

We've mastered the Yamas and Niyamas as well as Asana and Pranayama, right?  And we are totally in the know about Pratyahara.

So let's get to the 6th Limb of Yoga now...Dharana: Deep Concentration.

To still the mind we must focus our attention.  To some this is being "in the flow" where thought seems to stop -- maybe a musician totally lost in his/her music, fully present and absorbed in the activity. Also, you've seen those cool mala beads, right?  Often they are worn as "yoga jewelry" in the form of a bracelet or necklace.  Well, they serve a purpose far beyond making a style statement.  They are a tool for concentration.  A yogi/yogini will often focus on the breath as they touch each bead, or engage in "japa" or the repetition of a mantra, repeating the word or phrase while touching each bead in turn.  Often the brain will abandon the effort on each bead, and one will need to come back to concentrating on the breath or mantra over and over.  But this effort at Dharana, concentration, is readying the practitioner for the next limb of yoga.

Dhyana (Meditation), the 7th Limb of Yoga, occurs when concentration becomes steady enough that no thoughts will intrude on the internal experience.  The mala japa may be practiced touching each bead in turn with no thoughts, only the open space of silence.  The classic way of explaining this transition is to imagine that it's raining and Dharana is the focus we give to each individual raindrop, until eventually the raindrops and our concentration on the individual merges into a river of no individual thought resulting in uninterrupted meditation, or Dyhana.  This lovely state of "no mind" leads us to the state "no Ego". But I caution you:  Many feel they "fail" at meditation because they cannot stop their thoughts.  Thinking is what our brain is designed to do!  The "success" of Dhyana is to be vaguely aware of thoughts, but not to focus on them...let them float away with little to no attachment to their presence or meaning.  It's hard.  That's why we practice.

Samadhi (Oneness) is the 8th Limb of Yoga.  It is classically hard to describe.  It is the realm of very advanced practitioners, some say, only the true Gurus we think of as wise and infallible reach Samadhi.  But really?  Can no mere mortal reach this state?  It depends.  If one thinks of Samadhi as a trance-like state involving colorful robes and a cave, well, that may be hard to do.  But if one thinks of being totally and completely IN this world, but without judgement, without attachment, without thought, without the filters of human experience, but in total immersion with the experience of oneness with the Universe, with all that is, then sure; anyone can get there.  Some experience this in worship or in nature.  It is a state of egoless bounty.  All senses are active but without filters, without a point of view.  It is a state of hopefulness, joy.  At any moment we can all experience Samadhi...more likely if we have prepared a place for it to occur by practicing all 8 Limbs of yoga, relentlessly, with effort, and with intention.  There is effort to come to a state of effortlessness, but wow, right?  Totally worth it!

I hope you've enjoyed our journey through the 8 Limbs and most importantly have learned that "yoga" is far more than a perfected Downward Facing Dog.  Yoga is life.  It may seem one must master these limbs in sequential order and certainly it helps, especially in the latter limbs, to build upon all the practices, but the limbs are meant to be practiced simultaneously.  Breathe, meditate, do asana, live ethically, focus concentration, turn inward, be in integrity with others, find the Seat of Your Egoless Soul.  It's there for all of us, all of the time.  Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all dedicated ourselves to this ancient practice?  I think so.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit: pixabay.com
Resources: Yoga Basics; Yoga Journal

THE 8 LIMBS OF YOGA: 5. PRATYAHARA

I imagine you've heard of the first 4 Limbs of yoga here and there.  They are more commonly referenced, in part if not in whole.  Certainly the term "asana" might be in your vocabulary, but even if not, you'd certainly know the words "posture" or "pose" that seem to be the Western definition of yoga.

We are moving on now to the lesser known and perhaps more esoteric practices of yoga -- the "juicy" parts, I like to call them.

Pratyahara is the withdrawing of the senses; turning inward.  I could go into a discussion of the various levels of consciousness here -- the 'sheaths' described in yoga philosophy -- but instead I'll urge you to recall what it feels like just as you are falling asleep.  You are deeply relaxed, yet still awake on some level.  You hear sounds, but don't attach to them.  Things might be happening around you, but you are drifting off without attending to or responding to those external events.  This is the state of Pratyahara.

That said, you don't have to be almost asleep to practice Pratyahara.  This is a state available to us as we go about our every day lives.  In fact, it is a very useful practice that allows us to be of the world, while also be apart from it.  (I know this is very confusing and it can get even more so as you delve deeper into the study of this limb.  I'm a beginner so I'll keep it simple here.)

For example, you can get to Pratyahara in yoga by breathing to calm yourself, by focusing on a candle as you sit to meditate, by relaxing fully into Savasana, by closing your eyes and focusing on the movement of the asana.  Our senses are bombarded by information.  One practical practice of Pratyahara is to do media detox.  Turn off the TV, stash your cell phone, close the computer.  Sensory input can also overwhelm -- we hear, we see, we feel, we touch, we smell.  Try focusing on only one sense -- for a short time, attend to all that you hear, but ignore the rest.  Close your eyes.  This allows you to turn inward immediately.  Our busy minds also create chaos and an intentional practice of Pratyahara can allow places of calm -- a "pause" between thought and action creates an oasis of calm as we rush about our day and likely saves us from saying and doing things we might later regret.  Notice a thought, pause, then carry on.  That empty "pause", without thought,  is the inner you.

Ultimately the practice of Pratyahara is a path to deepening our meditation to connect to the inner realms of the mind.  We must turn from the physical, external world to the internal one to truly settle into a place of quiet where the senses are stilled in service to the higher consciousness place within us that exists, ever present, but mostly ignored -- the Seat of our Soul -- that which is unchanging in the ever-fluctuating storms of our physical/emotional life in the physical realm.

It's really pretty cool to experiment with this limb of yoga.  It is the transition from the external, or physical, "worldly" limbs of yoga, to the internal.  There is peace there -- a "tease" of the greater peace to come.©

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  Pixabay.com
Resources:  Yoga Journal; Yoga International

THE 8 LIMBS OF YOGA: 4. PRANAYAMA

Breathe in; breathe out.  Easy, right?

Turns out there is A LOT more to breathing than meets the eye.  The 4th Limb of yoga teaches us to control the breath to various effects.  I couldn't begin to list all the various pranayama breath work here, but I'll cover some basic info and you can Google for more info and instruction (YouTube has some great videos) -- which I find essential. It's hard to figure out on your own.

But let's start with what we know:  Breathing happens automatically.  We don't even think about it.  The lower brainstem initiates and controls our unconscious breath --  in/out, in/out.

But we can override this automatic breath by consciously choosing to breathe in a different pattern, by engaging the diaphragm and using "belly breathing" where the inhale causes the belly to expand (not the chest) and exhale with belly pulled in.

If we are fearful, angry, or agitated our breath will naturally be shallow and fast.  This helps us to run from danger!  But do we need to run?  Are we maybe just stressed over being late or losing our car keys, by a difficult conversation or an emotional shock?  It might be time to see if there is real danger involved that necessitates our physical response (the autonomic nervous system kicking in).  If not, we can calm these emotions by slowing and deepening the breath and soon, voila!, our very emotions are changed or at least calmed from frantic to easeful. We've engaged the "rest and restore" parasympathetic nervous system and can think clearly again to solve the problem and make a plan.

Using our breath to change and  control emotions is like having a Secret Super Power!

This is pranayama at its basic level.  From there you can experiment with various breath patterns to differing effects.  It gets rather technical to learn the 4 parts of the breath (inhale, hold after inhale, exhale, hold after exhale), to learn your unique threshold (how many breaths per minute and how long on each side of the breath and then working to increase the threshold), then to begin to manipulate these basics to breathe with intention -- perhaps to energize, to calm, or to find balance.

Calming breath work would involve various breath patterns that feature a longer exhale than inhale.  The opposite is true of an energizing breath which would have a longer inhale than exhale.  Balanced breathing, obviously, would seek to have inhale and exhale of equal length.

Some techniques use sound as a component; some utilize closing opposite nostrils on inhale and exhale, some sound a lot like panting.  All of them have profound physiological effects and benefits.

Does it take particular expertise to do this pranayama practice?  No.  Just experimentation and practice.  Everyone will find the breath that works for them to support their intention.  Sometimes we need to calm ourselves for meditation.  Sometimes we need to energize ourselves for a vigorous asana practice, or a big meeting at work!  Sometimes we just want to find some balance in life through the breath.

If you attend a yoga class you might find the instructor focuses on a pranayama practice for a portion of the class.  But even if it isn't a separate segment of the class, pranayama is always there as the breath is linked to the movement of the pose.  In the Viniyoga yoga tradition this is a very important component of asana practice.  Each movement is paired with an inhale (usually on an expansive part of a pose, like stretching upward), and with an exhale (usually on a closing-in part of the pose, as in a Forward Fold.)  See if your teacher cues the breath as you move through the poses.  This is excellent preparation for a pranayama practice to follow the asana practice.

I hope this 4th Limb of Yoga is part of your practice.  It's important to Keep Breathing!

Namaste, donnajurene
Photo credit:  classroomclipart.com

THE 8 LIMBS OF YOGA: 3. ASANA

"Do you do yoga?" "Yoga is too hard!"  "I hope doing yoga will help me lose weight."  "Yoga makes me sweat."  "Yoga is for girls."  Yoga is.... Yoga is.... Yoga is....

In the West most equate yoga with asana -- the poses.   Most see it as some form of twisty weird exercise, a means to a physical end -- to become stronger, tone muscle, be more flexible, lose weight, stretch tight muscles, etc.

In our study of the Yoga Sutras, the foundational texts describing yoga philosophy and practice, we discover that of the 196 Yoga Sutras, there are a grand total of THREE that address asana.  The poses with which we commonly define the practice of yoga are relegated to a mere mention.

Does this imply that we have it all wrong and doing all those poses is for naught?  Nope.  Asana is one of the co-equal 8 Limbs of Yoga which we are called to practice diligently.  An asana practice is essential to finding strength and ease with which to embrace all the other aspects of a yogic life.  And in fact it is an exercise of sorts in that it helps our bodies remain strong and balanced -- but that is not the totality of what it means to learn and practice the postures.

Practicing the poses passed down through generations of teachers in various traditions is meant to help us find both strength and ease in the body, or another way of saying this is to find steadiness and comfort.  When we are oblivious to our bodies, or do harm to them, hold tension and stress in our muscles, or fail to breathe deeply our mind becomes distracted from a state of calm attention and puts its awareness on our physical discomfort.

Asana practice allows us to focus on and strengthen our physical awareness and conditioning to find ease and comfort with stillness, movement, and breath.  When moving through the poses, we find the opportunity to link breath to movement, notice what is easeful and what is challenging, subtly adjust our posture to find a good balance between effort and ease, at times by challenging ourselves a bit, but never, ever to the point of pain or struggle.  As bodies become stronger, more flexible, and more balanced, our minds can find the same easeful rest in meditation -- and in life.

Asana practice prepares us for the more subtle aspects of yoga -- that of living a life of awareness in mind, body, and spirit, without distraction or attachment to that which is not the seat of our true self.

There are many lineages leading to many different styles of yoga asana practice.  You can Google and find descriptions of them.  The lineage in which I was trained dates back to Sri T. Krishnamacharaya in India.  He passed on his knowledge to others who used the basis of his teachings to inform their own now famous styles of yoga (Iyengar and Ashtanga), but most notably he passed his teachings on to his son, TKV Desikachar.  He went on to develop the Viniyoga style which seeks to develop a practice individualized to each student and has a therapeutic aspect as further refined by Gary Kraftsow in America.  Kraftsow taught Robin Rothenberg, who taught my teacher, Elizabeth Gray, who taught ME!  I claim no expertise, being a rank beginner teacher, but one who is nevertheless grateful for the knowledge and practice of this lineage.

The next time you find yourself in Downward Dog, remember to find stability and ease there, breathe with awareness, and know the pose is moving you toward a more calm and aware inner life, which is the whole goal of yoga -- not to twist into strange shapes, but to calm the fluctuations of the mind, leading to a life well lived for ourselves and in relationship with others. ©

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  Seattle Yoga News
Resources: Yoga International; Tracy Weber: Whole Life Blog; Yoga Journal

THE 8 LIMBS OF YOGA: 2. THE NIYAMAS

Last time I wrote about the first limb of the eight limbs of Yoga -- the Yamas -- those ethical principles of the Yoga Sutras dealing with how we interact with others.  Look back at the previous post if you are interested in reviewing.  https://circlingthemat.blogspot.com/2019/10/the-great-vow.html

After having just spent 10 days on vacation with good friends, I had plenty of opportunity to practice the Yamas.  They could answer as to how successful I was, but I did try to keep these precepts in mind most of the time.

Home now, it's time to turn inward.  How do I manage my relationship with myself?  The Yogic Path helps us in this regard with the second limb of yoga -- the Niyamas.

Here they are:
Sauca -- cleanliness (of body, mind, and heart as well as our surroundings)
Santosa -- contentment
Tapas -- practice that causes positive change
Svadhyaya -- study by and of oneself
Isvara-pranidhana -- humility and faith


Sauca, cleanliness, is easy, right?  I shower regularly!  But Sauca is more.  The sutras tell us that our bodies, ever changing, can never be pure and that is OK.  This reminds us that the body is always in a state of impermanence and that the Light within is the only truly "clean" and unchanging force.  Cleanliness in our surroundings is important.  Physical clutter creates mental and psychic clutter.  Tidy surroundings encourage a peaceful space, yet not so great if tidiness becomes obsessive.  Keep a clear space in which to live and work and drive, but one that is also welcoming and comfortable and lends itself to creativity.  Cleanliness of mind and heart can be challenging, especially in this communication age when we are bombarded by words and images at dizzying speed.  Are we on information overload?  Do we take in too much "bad news"?  Are we drawn to "mature audiences only" media with resulting unsettled feelings?  Have we kept something from another, or kept feelings bottled up and need to "come clean"?  Sauca can take the form of truth telling, apologizing, even mourning as we cleanse ourselves of feelings of grief.

Santosa and gratitude go hand in hand.  Santosa leads us to happiness.  We become content with what we have and who we are.  Easy-breezy, right?  Not so much.  We are always comparing ourselves to others, which breeds discontent!  They have a new car, a bigger house, smarter kids, a slimmer build, a stronger body, a better job, and on and on.  It is easy to feel the stirrings of envy rather than gratitude. Practicing Santosa means stopping the negative, "not good enough" thoughts in their tracks and coming back to appreciating what you have and who you are in every moment.  Because again, all those "things" are impermanent. They are not YOU.  Letting go of expectations and being unattached to results allows us to live in the moment of "what is" with total contentment.

How do we put the change we want to make for ourselves into action?  By working on it.  Working creates friction between the old ways and the new.  This is Tapas, or heat.  We must feel the the heat of discomfort as we transform, breaking old habits and learning the new.  This takes discipline and effort.  Healthy change is needed if we are to grow in our practices.  In any endeavor for change we feel that discomfort -- eating more healthfully means dealing with the 'pain' of leaving sweet desserts behind; quitting smoking or alcohol or other addictions requires a great deal of emotional and physical effort.  Working through difficulties with others requires coming to a place of compassion and may change our attitude toward them over time.  Tapas is the effort we bring to our personal growth.

We must look inward, with honesty and curiosity to understand who we are now and who we are meant to be.  What motivates us?  Why do we act, react, and respond as we do? This self-reflection and self-study is Svadhyaya.  We become aware of strengths and weaknesses.  We become aware of patterns of  behavior that no longer serve us, that perhaps we've grown to repeat out of habit.  With awareness we can shift to more positive behaviors and outcomes that are healthy and clear.  We may notice that our short-temper with our spouse is misdirected and that we are still actually harboring frustration toward a co-worker, or even acting out in response to a childhood memory, long buried. With self-reflection comes clarity and the ability to change our words and actions.

There is only so much we can know from our own minds.  We are limited by our personal experiences, our unique intellect, our biases.  Turning to a higher power when we are lost in confusion is the path. We can find guidance in books, at lectures, through teachers or preachers that can inform a new way of seeing things and lead us forward.  Studies of scriptures and writings can help enlighten our way. Yet often all we can do is surrender, in the belief that this life is a spark of the Divine and that the never-ending, always present Light within, (that some call God, or Allah, or Krishna, or Goddess, or Universe) is the true seat of our soul.  This is Isvara-pranidhana.  It is the recognition that humility and surrender may be the only way forward.  We are not our Ego self.

The Niyamas are meant to provide a guide to self-knowledge, to contentment, and inner peace.  When combined with the Yamas, these two limbs of yoga provide us a way to live in harmony with ourselves and those around us.  It's not easy.  But it's important.  And it's worth practicing.©

Namaste, donnajurene
Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com
Resource:  The Path of the Yoga Sutras - A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga by Nicolai Bachman.

THE 8 LIMBS OF YOGA: 1. THE YAMAS -- THE GREAT VOW

I'm loving the Yoga Sutra class at Yoga Circle!  We studied the Sutras as part of our yoga teacher training, but a review and deepening of this study called to me.  It's the heart of yoga and I wanted to learn more.

A couple of weeks ago we visited the Sutras of the Yamas (one of the Eight Limbs of Yoga).  The Yamas are like the Moral Code of a yoga practice.  Yama means control or restraint or regulation.  We must restrain our worst impulses, our default ways of acting that do not contribute to the greater good of self and others.  The Yamas call us into ethical relationship with others.  How we treat others demonstrates in real time the effectiveness of our yoga practice by showing us the quality of our inner state of mind made manifest in the social order.

Here are the Yamas:

Ahimsa -- non-harming; non-violence
Satya -- truthfulness
Asteya -- non-stealing
Brahmacaraya -- energy conservation 
Aparigraha -- non-greed; non-hoarding

Practicing the Yamas is considered to be "The Great Vow" of yoga.  In my study of the Yamas we explored each of these and then during our Asana practice, we grounded each in a series of poses as we literally took "The Great Vow" together.  It was deeply meaningful to me.

The Yamas are to be taken seriously and a yogi/yogini will keep this vow uppermost in his/her mind as s/he goes about the day.  Challenges will arise and perfectly attending to each Yama may feel in conflict or even impossible.

How can that be?  Let's take a closer look:

Ahimsa seems like a no brainer.  Few of us would seek to harm another, right?  We don't go around picking fights or beating people up or even verbally abusing those with whom we come into contact.  But take a step back from the extreme of "harming" and see if you make snide comments, use sarcasm to express yourself, offer a hurtful opinion.  Do you post mean memes on Facebook?  Do you gossip about your officemate?  What if your actions and behaviors feel harmful to another, even if not to you?  Is it harmful to eat foods grown in toxic soils (you may be harming yourself) knowing that a farmworker was exposed to chemicals to give you cheaper lettuce?  Do you engage in negative self-talk, harming your psyche?  Some yogi/yoginis also interpret this Ahimsa as meaning non-harming toward any creature and turn to vegetarianism.  What ways do you think you might be causing harm?  How can you be more mindful in practicing Ahimsa?

Satya, or truthfulness, is another easy one, right?  You likely see yourself as a truthful person.  Yet...how many "white lies" do we tell to avoid hurting someone's feelings?  Friend: "I love my new red dress, don't you?"  You, thinking: "Hmmm....no, it's awful!" You saying, "Yes!  So cool!"  You've just told a lie to try not to harm (Ahimsa in conflict!)  Maybe you could have answered the question with a truth that wasn't a lie: "That is such a vibrant color on you!"  Or how many lies do we tell others (and ourselves) to justify our behaviors, to save face, to avoid consequences?   Satya is also connected to keeping our word -- to following through on commitments to ourselves and others. Truthfulness means taking a close look at our inner motivations and our personal integrity.  Have you caught yourself in a lie?  How can you be more mindful in practicing Satya?

Asteya means not taking from others anything not freely given through mutual agreement.  You are an honest person and would never think of robbing a bank.  You wouldn't go into a store to shoplift.  But do you point out when the waitstaff forgets to charge you for your dessert?  Do you constantly interrupt others, essentially stealing their ability to be heard?  Are you habitually late, "stealing" time from those waiting for you?  Have you ever taken credit for someone else's idea?  How many instances can you think of when you "stole" something that wasn't really yours to have?  How can you be more mindful in practicing Asteya?

Brahmacarya is concerned with keeping us in balance.  We need to conserve vital energy in order to move it in more productive directions.  The traditional interpretations of this Yama deal with sexual energy -- the idea of controlling those urges and cravings and adhering to fidelity and perhaps celibacy.  It is certainly true that sexual faithfulness would fall into this category.  In more modern interpretations we broaden the meaning of this Yama to also include finding balance in our lives; to practicing moderation.  Do you habitually overeat?  Indulge in too many beers?  Work at the office until after everyone else has gone home?  Watch TV until the wee hours?  Work out at the gym compulsively?  Meditate to the exclusion of interacting with others?  In what ways do you feel out of balance and how does this impact your relationships with others? How can you be more mindful in practicing Brahmacarya?

Aparigraha, or grasping, greed, and hoarding leads to separation.  Our Ego wants.  Our Ego identifies with using material objects to define us.  We become possessive.  We shout, "Mine!" like a two-year-old and grieve the loss of our "stuff" as if it had real meaning.  The classic example would be of a person who is a hoarder and cannot part with anything.  Or a miser who hoards money to feel important.  Some lord power over others.  Accumulation and "want" are created by advertising, causing us to feel unsatisfied with life unless we have the latest cool gadget.  Can you relate?   Or maybe you cling to an idea or a dogma and cannot abide an opposing view.  Not hoarding things and ideas can free us to realize all is temporary and will pass from us in time -- even our very lives.  Can you identify any ways in which you are grasping or greedy?  Can you let go?  How can you be more mindful in practicing Aparigraha?

There is so much to explore, learn, and internalize in our yoga practice.  I hope you've enjoyed this stroll through the Yamas and hope you'll also explore practicing these ethical guides.  You will not do it all perfectly and must use your powers of discernment to untangle conflicts, using your own integrity as your guide.  Yet even if done imperfectly, living in balance with generosity, truthfulness, compassion, and an awareness of the temporary nature of our human lives can ground and root us in the "now" while also providing a framework to live with increasing confidence, joy, and freedom.  It's a practice worth pursuing; will you take The Great Vow too?©

Namaste, donnajurene
Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com
Resource:  The Path of the Yoga Sutras - A Practical Guide to the Core of Yoga by Nicolai Bachman.

LET'S GET REAL

I've been blogging away lately about deep and sometimes confusing yogic philosophy.  I'll get back to that, but let's take a break today and get real about a real life, every day, normal, and relatable topic.  Underwear.

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but I have to confess that I'm not very well-informed about yoga underclothing so I'm diving in with my confusion.

At Yoga Teacher Training, we talked informally (it was not part of the curriculum) about what to wear under those form-fitting yoga pants.  We even had a show-and-tell about a certain thong-type garment that appealed to some and appalled the rest.  Do you care if you have visible panty lines?  Or do you take all reasonable measures to ensure you do not?  Do your undies ride up in all the wrong places or ride down under that little pooch of a gut about halfway through class?

I'll confess.  I strive for comfort over style:  I don't care if you can see my panty lines and my more than a little pooch of a gut sometimes captures the upper elastic on my undies and takes it hostage too far south of my waistline and I have to go in and readjust.  Maybe you've noticed.   I'm on a quest to lose the pooch rather than resort to another type of undergarment.  But that's just me being stubborn.

As for the upper regions of underneath, who out there can recommend a perfect yoga bra?  I have a bunch of "sports bras" that have that little removable padding in the cups.  Yesterday I didn't notice until half way through class that the padding on the left side had somehow migrated over itself, doubling the thickness on the upper half of the cup, creating a bulging "shelf" that bisected my breast.  I tried to ignore it.  I tried to tell myself something so insignificant didn't matter a bit to my practice -- not to how I did asana nor to the calming of the fluctuations of my mind.  But my mind was totally fluctuating over this wardrobe issue.

I was in the front row, facing the other side of class, absolutely convinced that everyone could see my abnormally lumpy left side and either be concerned or inwardly laughing.  I tried to surreptitiously slide my hand in there to readjust, but there was no easy fix.  I'd have to leave and get partially undressed to fix it, so I prioritized my practice and just let it be.  But the minute class was over I fixed it and vowed to do a better job of looking in the mirror next time before I dash out the door to class.

There must be a remedy for these errant undergarments.  There must be a perfect brand of yoga undie-clothes that can remove the obstacle of discomfort and disfigurement that can be such a distraction to performing the perfect Tree Pose. (I blame the bra for my lack of balance yesterday.)

If you have any tips, please share in comments for all of us.  I really need some help here.  My yoga bliss hinges on solving this problem.  ©

Namaste, donnajurene

NON-ATTACHMENT

In my study of yoga, mindfulness, and Buddhism one theme repeats throughout -- non-attachment.  What does this mean?

Well, we make plans and plans often go awry.  How do we respond?  For me, it's usually with frustration, disappointment, even grief.  I want things to go the way I expect them to go!  Otherwise why even try?  Why plan, organize, and put forth effort if we have no control over the outcome? The heck with it, right?  Wrong.

Remember in the last post I said I got lost in my Prakriti -- that big bag of life experience we carry on our backs that we erroneously think is the real us?  This is the place of habits.

We have a certain way of doing things.  We always do them that way.  They are habits of thought and action that are often repeated without intention or thought.  We put our shirt on before our pants; we brush our teeth before we wash our face; we drive to work on auto-pilot; we eat that extra cookie; we worry about our weight; we rise up from a forward fold arms sweeping up from our sides to reach over our heads in exactly the same way every single time; we expect people to be predictable, etc.

These habits form "grooves" in our brain.  We act without true intention; without thinking.  The Sanskrit word for this is "Samskara" -- the endless chatter in our minds; the repetitive habits of our actions.

To interrupt these habits, which can be unconscious and limiting, we must practice relentlessly.  What does this mean?  It means practicing mindfulness.  It means whenever you find yourself in a familiar thought or action pattern -- or Samskara "groove"--  we consciously replace it with a new, more helpful thought or action, or Vairagya.  This unrelenting practice of awareness is called Abhyasa.

Every morning I get up and pour my cup of coffee and make a slice of whole wheat toast with butter and jam.  Every morning, without fail.  This is what I do.  I like it.  I don't even stop to think if this is what I really want, if it's good for me, it's just what I do.  (Samskara)  But lately I've decided that may not be the best and most nutritious breakfast for me.  I'm noticing I don't feel great after this breakfast.  What would happen if instead I prepared a cup of Auyvedic herbal tea and a small bowl of oatmeal?  That might help calm my tummy issues, provide me with more nutrition, and help me lose a little weight.  But that breakfast just doesn't feel right!!!  Until I get into the new groove -- Vairagya.

Will this solve my digestive problem?  Well, it might.  Or it might not.  The new "groove" also becomes a Samskara if I don't continue to practice Abhyasa -- the unrelenting practice of being in the present moment.  The present moment might find me feeling better or it might not.  I must practice non-attachment to the outcome of my practice!  I must find a "no groove" place where each moment is new and each thought or action is meant to be noticed in this moment, not with an eye to the past that no longer exists nor to the future that will never come.  I have to keep practicing.

This is all so confusing, isn't it?  We Westerners of the rugged independence ilk, who value hard work and goal-setting to achieve our desired outcome have a hard time letting go of attachment to that work and the outcome we want.  Yet how often do we stay in a state of repetition, of a swirling mind that never stops, of habits that have long outlived their usefulness?

This state of Samskara can only be interrupted with intentional noticing.  We can then make intentional changes.  And then we practice noticing that!  And we practice some more with more noticing and then maybe we make more changes.  We are not really trying to find the perfect outcome.  We are only practicing awareness of the present moment.  And really, the present moment is all we have, the only real thing, and our attention to it is the point.

I get that this is a hard concept.  I am only now finding a glimmer of understanding of it with my second course of Yoga Sutra study and a revisit to some Buddhist and Hindu teachings.  I find it challenging and also freeing to realize that I can't control anything, really.  I can only be present to this moment and trust that I can notice and take action that serves me in the now.

Give it a try. Notice a habit of your own or a thought pattern that drives you crazy.  Get quiet and take note.  Really notice what you are doing and thinking.  No judgement.  Then do or think something more helpful, if that is appropriate.  Just for now.  Don't get caught thinking this will solve or change anything, even though it might.  Just notice and make a change.  See how that feels.

Samskara is the old, maybe not useful, groove.
Abhyasa is the unrelenting practice of awareness.
Vairagya is the new groove to try on.
Non-attachement is no groove at all.  Just be here now.

Have fun exploring!©
Namaste,  donnajurene

Thanks to Elizabeth Gray at YCS for her wisdom and teaching of the Yoga Sutras.  Hope I got some of this information almost right.  I'm not attached.  LOL

I FORGOT

Well.  Humility comes in all sizes.  I got a huge dose recently.

Oh yes, I did the yoga teacher training and was feeling pretty proud; pretty confident; pretty, you know, special.  LOL   I learned all about Asana (the poses), Sutra (the philosophy), Pranayama (the breathing) and Anatomy (the body).  I learned first and foremost that yoga isn't about poses, it's about calming the fluctuations of the mind. Everything we do is in service to that outcome.  I know that!

I know about Prakriti -- the big bag of "ego", what we identify with, our roles and thoughts, past and present experiences, etc.  And I know about Purusha -- the unchanging pure awareness that is our true Self.

And I know that if we don't still the mind we grow confused and come to believe we are the fluctuations of the mind -- that all those things that change and evolve and disappear over time are really"us"; really important, really real.

Well, as a spiritual being in a human body I am also of the opinion that we do experience all those things as real as our default.  How could we not?  We have to learn about the higher Self that observes the craziness.  And sometimes we forget.  Sometimes Prakriti grows so big and bold and heavy and all consuming that there is no room for any notion of a higher Self, an observer.

That happened to me recently, right after graduating from my teacher training.  I forgot everything and I abandoned all I knew, all I had learned, and fell into full immersion in a personal/relationship situation that blew the doors off my yoga practice.  I cried through a couple of yoga classes and stopped going for awhile; I forgot my diaphragmatic breathing;  I couldn't even begin to access the wisdom of the Sutras; and my body, oh my poor body, was flooded with cortisol (the stress hormone) for about 2 straight weeks -- my sympathetic nervous system in Fight, Flight, Freeze mode every minute of the day and night.  I didn't sleep much.  I lost weight. (Always a happy side effect of trauma!)  I saw no end in sight.

But to my credit, I never give up.  I read.  I researched.  I got support.  I talked and talked and talked to the person I had the issue with.  We eventually found common ground and while that ground may still be a bit shaky, it's solid enough not to fall over right now.

Yesterday I went to the first class of the Sutra series at Yoga Circle and to my delight found five of my yogini teacher training friends there too.  We had all come back to learn more from our guru, Elizabeth.  I went to her gentle yoga class this morning too and realized I was finding my way back on the path of calming the fluctuations of the mind -- the true purpose of Yoga.

With repeated study, reminders, exposure to the amazing wonders of yoga, I trust that I won't be thrown so far afield next time this human life gives me a challenge.  Because, life is hard.  Thankfully the  antidote is simple, if not always easy.  We just have to remember to use it.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com

SUP? NOPE.

Oooo....chilly morning.  I've got two layers of long sleeves on and some woolen socks.  While September in the PNW can be gorgeous, we can all tell summer is waning here in late August.  Morning fog, earlier dusk, gardens winding down, even some leaves turning from green to golden.

Which reminds me, again this year I forgot to do any Stand-Up Paddleboard Yoga.  "Forgot" maybe isn't the right word....I'm NEVER going to do SUP Yoga!

I am an evolved land-dwelling human who has left her gills eons behind.  I see no reason to ever put myself in a situation where my face might have to meet the water.  This interferes with normal human lung breathing.  I like normal human lung breathing.  I like it so much that any memories of childhood swim lessons where I had to actually put my face in the water, put my whole head under the surface (!) and on one occasion had to be embarrassingly fished out of the water with a "lifesaver hook" at the YWCA, as I panicked and flailed in the deep end, is mostly banished from memory.

I know SUP Yoga is currently all the rage.  I see the lovely photos of people (women mostly) doing all manner of yoga maneuvers atop a SUP on brilliantly blue sky days at the lake.  As an "idea" this is great fun.  In reality, um, no.  I also have to wonder if all those perfectly framed photographs are photo-shopped.  That board is really sitting on your rec room floor, isn't it?  Very clever!

HaHa.  Just kidding.  I actually know teachers who do this for real and students who follow their lead.  The photo with this post is of Carly who used to teach at YCS.  She's great; I loved her classes. I also know current YCS teacher and my Yoga Teacher Training instructor, Elizabeth, does SUP.  She even brought her SUP to our teacher training retreat at Diablo Lake in case any of us wanted to try it...in Diablo Lake's 44 degree glacial melt waters.  No takers.

I guess like surfing and swimming this is fun for some.  If they take a spill off the board, they come up laughing, hair slicked back perfectly, face aglow, like some beautiful yoga mermaid ready to hop back on and do it again.  I can accurately predict I'd come up spewing water and spittle, hair crisscrossing my face, over my eyes, blinding me, and leaving me looking like a shaggy dog, likely crying, hyperventilating, and begging someone to get me to shore, NOW, where I'd sit berating myself for being such a yoga dud and hating how I look in a swimsuit.  I have no need to put myself in that situation.

In fairness to my attempts to be an adventurer, I tried to be on a SUP one time -- not even doing yoga!  Just sitting there.  My atheletic husband loves to ride his SUP.  He has an inflatable one that, once blown up with his super duper battery powered air pump, is rigid and sturdy.  He actually lugs this 50 pound toy to Hawaii every year (deflated in its carry bag) and paddles around the bay and rides the waves in front of our condo unit.

Last trip he suggested that it might be fun to take it to the river and I could sit in front of him while he paddled us upriver.  He suggested this for about two weeks of our 2-1/2 week stay and finally I relented.  Snuggly tucked into my life vest, I took my seat and immediately noticed the unbalanced nature of us tipping back and forth on the surface.  I white knuckled my not moving Staff Pose as he tried to find a way to keep us upright.  Having another person on the board was a learning curve situation for him.  Then he started to paddle, periodically bonking me in the head with the oar as he swung the paddle from side to side.  The wind picked up; it was hard to make forward progress, and not fun for either of us.  After about 30 minutes he suggested we turn back....which is just about unheard of.  He never bails on anything.  I was relieved.  And while I didn't get thrown off, neither did I have much fun.

Yes, I'm a water dud...with the exception of kayaking which for some reason I really enjoy.  I am close to, but not in the water.  I choose sunny days, with glassy calm 'seas'; I don my life vest, and paddle away assuming no disasters will befall me.  Could be wishful thinking and could be deemed inconsistent with my fears.  Go figure.  It works for me.

I wonder if Kayak Yoga is a thing?  Nah....methinks best to stay seated.  But if you try it, let me know how it goes.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  From Carly's FB page: Catalyst Yoga

TEARS IN MY EARS

You may have noticed the subtitle of this blog; it goes like this:  "My blissful experience with a yoga practice...also falling down, crying, laughing, and sleeping in class".

I've done all those things -- falling out of poses, laughing with joy, sleeping during Savasana.  And crying...not often, but sometimes.  Not recently, until yesterday.

I'm having challenging year with a family life situation that seems to have come out of the blue, but has been brewing, apparently.  It's hard.  Relationships are hard.  Loving is hard.  I've got a big tool box full of personal growth and spiritual growth tools and I've tried to use the ones best suited to this job, but I've got a call in to get a "refresher" from the tool guru--my therapist.  I did not anticipate finding myself in this spot now.  Part of the challenge is the shock.

I have not done a yoga practice since my Yoga Teacher Training Graduation on July 31.  I've let that tool lie dormant as I went away on a trip, then came home to a week of grandchild care.  I told myself I'd do a home practice with an online teacher, but I didn't motivate myself to do it.

Yesterday I made myself go to the studio.  I hesitated, again, because Saturday classes tend to be super crowded and the last thing I wanted was to socialize.  Depression is not friendly and chatty.  So I got there really early, waited just outside the door to the inner space until the previous class finished, and then dashed in to claim a place as far away from everyone else as possible -- in the back corner near the restroom.

I saw friends across the room and felt the warmth of connection just knowing they were there, but not talking to them.  I heard Elizabeth's familiar voice, instructing as she always does to begin lying down, following the breath, letting thoughts go, being in the moment.

Then the floodgates opened.  I cried lying there, tears of sorrow, and grief, and fear, and relief.  I just let it happen as I heard her quiet cadences nurturing me.   I cried and cried until I began to feel the tears rolling back along my upper cheeks and pooling in my ears.  Then I chuckled to myself.  It was funny, that I was making a pond of tears in my outer ears.  I had to grab a tissue and sop out the salty sea.

We went on with our practice.  I kept my mind focused, my eyes closed, my energy extending no further than the confines of my mat.  I cried.  And I felt safe: the studio so artistically beautiful, a nurturing space so familiar to me, a teacher I admire and trust, and teacher training friends across the room to give me silent support they didn't even know they were lending just by being there.

We come to the mat some days feeling strong and balanced.  We come to the mat some days feeling joyful and energetic.  We come to the mat some days feeling like the mat is the only thing saving us from despair.  We come to the mat with all of our self -- the True Self that observes, and the very human, egoic self that is caught in the human condition.

It's all OK.  It's all welcome.  Come cry with me.  ©
Namaste, donnajurene

NOW BEGINS THE STUDY OF YOGA....

The first Yoga Sutra lays it right out there...."now begins the study of Yoga".  And you might think the next Sutra will show you how to do a perfect Pigeon Pose. Au contraire!  Asana is barely mentioned in the Sutras.  It's all about how to still the fluctuations of the mind.  In ancient Indian times, Yoga was about the spirit.  Ayurveda was about the body.

My true study of yoga began on January 10, 2019 when I stepped into the first session of a 200 hour yoga teacher training, taking coursework toward my registered yoga teacher certification.  I completed that course yesterday, July 30, 2019.

It was a journey I never expected; a path that challenged and surprised me.  I was overwhelmed at times, joyful and curious at times, sad at times, exhausted a lot of the time, unsure, unsteady, and doubtful any of it would lead to anything but time and money spent on something I'd soon ignore.

Um...shows you how much the Ego knows!  I'm still processing where this path has led me, but I know in my bones (anatomy!) that I am changed.  I did not go into this a complete novice.  I've practiced yoga for 11 years, I've meditated for almost as long (sporadically), I've done lots of reading and chanting and hanging out with people who share the spirit of Yoga.  Yet, this deep dive has been the unifying force I needed to bring it all under one umbrella.

In addition, my adult-life passion for personal growth work has been expanded exponentially.  I get it all now, not just on a psychological level, but a spiritual one.  It feels like a clean slate, like heaviness has been lifted and Light is shining in.

And I've made new friends of all ages.  When one reaches a certain age, it is harder and harder to meet and become friends with people.  Well, that has been my experience.  I'm not in the paid workforce; I don't attend a church; my PTA days are behind me; I am cordial with my neighbors but we mostly wave and chat briefly when we see each other.  I am involved in politics, but that is a one-topic "friendship" for the most part.  But in this yoga training we were all in the trenches together, no one person more skilled, more confident, more knowledgable than the next.  We supported each other, cheered each other on, held each other in vulnerability and in joy, shared about our families, our lives.  What a surprise!  I didn't anticipate finding this in the training.

Our teachers/mentors were unfailingly supportive as well.   With wisdom, knowledge, experience, humor, and empathy we were led on a journey of discovery and learning.  It wasn't easy.  The monthly intensive weekends, and the culminating 4 day Learning Retreat, were truly intense.  I went home exhausted.  We had textbooks and homework.  If we missed a session we had to make it up on our own dime with a private session.  Homework was due on time and evaluated.  We didn't receive a grade per se, but we needed to demonstrate proficiency and complete all the required hours and assignments.

Going into it, I thought I'd take the course to deepen my own practice.  I thought I'd challenge this sometimes lazy brain with new learning and knowledge.  I thought it might be sorta fun.

It was all of that....and indescribably more.  I feel eager to continue to study, to prioritize the many aspects of yoga and incorporate them in all I do, and to (dare I say it?)....teach!

I don't know where or when or how I will manifest the teaching goal, but unlike the first time I stepped up to teach part of a practice in class, unsteady and unsure, I am now (with some thought and preparation) confident I have something to offer others and sharing what Yoga can give us motivates me to try.

For those of you who may be interested, I believe this course will be offered again in 2020.  Just. Do. It.

Namaste, donnajurene
Photo: Me and my certificate with our instructor Elizabeth Gray at the Family & Friends "Grad" Party.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

YOWZA!  Time is on hyperspeed!  I'm just writing my first July blog post on nearly the eve of August!

I have a good excuse.  This is the last month of my yoga teacher training course.  I had to write a research paper and develop an asana practice to go along with it.  I had a 3-page, multi-part take-home final to complete.  I had to rehearse the abbreviated asana practice from my research that I will be required to teach to the entire class and the instructors at the 5-day culminating yoga training retreat that begins today.

I just did a run-through, again, of my teaching practice.  I'm generally not at all nervous about talking to crowds, which is weird for an introvert such as myself, but I find it much easier than making small talk at a party one on one.  Anyway, having talked to some of my sister yoginis, I realize we are all a bit nervous.  This is it.  We are teachers, teaching.  Gulp.  I even mentioned to one of our instructors that I hoped I didn't screw this up.  She very gently looked me in the eye and said, "And what if you do?"  Is being perfect what yoga is about?  Is our Ego what needs to shine?

She called me again to the real practice of yoga....that elusive idea that we are not the Ego.  We are deeper and more Universal than that.  We are the "Observer" who watches the Ego self act in the world, worried about performance, or whether our friends like us, or how much we weigh, or what kind of car we should buy....all the cares of the material world that take up our attention, cause us stress, and give us a stomachache come not from the vastness of the True Self, but from the human self Ego construct.

In Yoga talk, the Sanskrit word for the "me" I think I am is Prakriti.  It is the big sack of history we carry on our backs everywhere we go filled with our DNA, our life experiences, our thoughts, traumas, religion, joys, angers, hurts, relationships, etc.  These are the things we think we are.

But guess what?!?  We are not those things.  Oh, our human life is made up of those things; our consciousness attends to those things; we do live in the material world and must deal with these material concerns.  But mindfulness calls us to know that beyond these concerns we can find Purusha, Pure Awareness.  This Awareness is our Inner Observer -- that which lives within and outside the everyday consciousness.

Being able to tap into this Purusha allows us to put down the sack and find inner calm, inner peace, relief.  It definitely takes practice.  Yoga is that practice.  The poses and the breathing are all designed to help us find a quiet place inside -- what many call meditation.  And sometimes I find that peace in a sitting meditation.

What's more miraculous to me is finding it in the midst of the Prakriti noise.  Sometimes I can mentally step back from all that's going on around me, and find myself observing it all as if from afar.  At these moments I realize that the still, quiet "Self" inside is the real deal, the unchanging essence of "me".  That outer "me" is just a noisy, stressful, impermanent, worrisome jangle of experiences that come and go, come and go.

So this weekend I will be called upon at some point to lead and to teach.  I will take a deep breath and step forward, my outer Ego self probably still hoping to do well, and my Inner Self knowing that how I "do" has no bearing whatsoever on the "being" of me.

May we all find our Purusha and find peace.

Namaste, donnajurene

YOGA IS LIFE

A friend recently asked me, "So what is it about yoga that draws you back, over and over, to the practice?"  I paused...then just started talking, as I often do when processing my thoughts out loud.  Here's sort of a summary of what I came up with.  I wonder if you can relate?

In Western culture yoga is all about the pose, the physical performance of a body trick; about "exercising" and changing the shape of one's body (yoga butt!).  It's about finding flexibility and strength and at a certain age, hoping yoga will stave off the aches and pains that threaten to slow us down.  These are incredibly worthy goals and I had the same when I started to come to yoga classes a little over a decade ago.  

What I've come to realize since then is that for me, yoga combines so many of the things I have explored in separate spiritual practices:

I once worked with a yoga/meditation teacher who led our little Sangha in occasional explorations of Pranayama -- intentional breathing techniques designed to elicit various responses from the nervous system.

A different meditation teacher taught me to meditate using a Sanskrit mantra to focus my mind, it being based on some elaborate and to me undecipherable interpretation of my birth moment in Vedic Astrology.  I like my mantra and I still use it.  I've also studied Mindfulness Based Meditation to calm my anxious nature.

I was drawn like a groupie to a rock band when I first heard a recording of Kirtan.  I found the experience of chanting to the Divine (in Hindu tradition) to be exhilarating and deeply moving.  I've gone to workshops, concerts, living room Kirtans, and taken a course of study called "Sound School".  I still absolutely love Kirtan and have favorite Kirtan artists.

I've been a lifelong seeker of knowledge about the inner workings of my mind and heart and curious about how my life experiences inform the decisions I make on a daily basis.  I've been deeply involved with Jungian-based personal growth work, both as a participant and a facilitator.

All of these practices twisted and twirled around each other, at times one being more prominent in my life than another, but "there" nonetheless.

When I deepened my understanding of Yoga by taking teacher training, I discovered I've spent my adult life preparing to find integration of my spiritual and psychological searching within yoga.

The Eight Limbs of Yoga incorporate all of it.  Each limb is distinct, yet cannot truly stand alone if one is a dedicated yogi/yogini.  They are practiced simultaneously and one informs the other in a dance of completion.

The Eight Limbs:

Yamas -- Universal Moral Constraints: how we interact with the world around us (the most well known of these is to practice non-violence)

Niyamas -- Personal Observances: how we live our lives with integrity and spirit

Asana -- Postures: the poses we are so familiar with, to help our bodies ready for meditation

Pranayama -- Mindful Breathing: controlling the breath for a certain effect

Pratyahara -- Turning Inward:  withdrawing the senses to attend only to the present moment (eyes closed)

Dharana -- Concentration:  focusing attention, perhaps on the breath, a mantra, a candle, an image; to prepare for meditation

Dhyana -- Meditation:  a merging with the object of concentration such that one feels completely relaxed and at ease, no longer engaging in the Monkey Mind of the physical Ego self

Samadhi -- Union of the Self with the Object of Meditation; the Seeker become the Seer -- merging with higher consciousness without Ego; finite becomes infinite (some see this as the final passing of the physical mind/body; some as the ability of Enlightened Beings to completely and simultaneously inhabit two worlds -- the physical and the spiritual)

For me, the first seven limbs are achievable with practice, the eighth seems, at this point, to be in Guru territory for sure.  But yoga doesn't set any one above another.  We are all one -- manifestations of Universal Consciousness.  

And if your belief system finds that kind of talk a little weird or wrong, that's OK.  As one of my favorite Kirtan artists reminds her widely varied audiences, "We're not trying to convert anybody here"... She says the mantra/music/chant just gives us a place to rest our weary minds.  

For example, through Kirtan or chanting (Dharana) we might find we prefer our eyes closed (Pratyahara), and in so doing, find moments of deep peace (Meditation).  Our (Asana)-toned bodies will be strong and supple for sitting while enjoying the experience.  The singing chant will naturally demand that our exhale is longer than our inhale (Pranayama) as we sing out, thus relaxing the nervous system.  The words and music may become so much our focus that all else falls away (Dhyana).  And all of this will encourage a loving, giving, compassionate re-entry into the physical world as we interact with others (Yamas) and continue to know and nurture ourselves (Niyamas).  And with enough practice, I trust that Samadhi awaits as well.

Why yoga?  Because, for me... Yoga is Life.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com

FORT COMFORT

At Yoga Teacher Training this month we spent a day learning about "restoratives".  These are poses which basically involve lying down on pillows and being covered in blankets.  I know what you're thinking..."My kind of yoga!"  Well, of course.  That's the point.

We all live in a hustle and bustle world and even if we never leave the house, that hustle/bustle brain just keeps spinning tales of memories, regrets, to do lists, worries, plans...ARRRGGGHHHH!  Make it stop!

Restorative poses are designed to "make it stop".  The goal of yoga, after all, is to calm the fluctuations of the mind.  We get our bodies in good working order through asana practice so that they are not obstacles to meditation.   Also, BONUS!, while in the midst of asana practice we put our attention on acquiring the pose, which already slows down the constant whirl of the thinking mind.

We get a mini restorative practice at the end of every class, as we settle into Savasana.  We might put a blanket under our heads, an eye pillow over our eyes, prop our legs over a bolster, cover up with another blanket...and get as comfortable as possible for 10 minutes.  It's not perfect, but it's pretty great, right?

Well, there are actually practices of only restorative poses!  Usually only 4-5 poses in a whole class, because moving from one to the next requires gathering up enough props to start your own studio, then erecting quite the Barcalounger effect.  The rule is "no hanging limbs", meaning every square inch of you should be supported in the greatest degree of comfort possible.  This is accomplished differently for everyone, but as a teacher we are to assess how a person's body is lying there and then scurry about finding the appropriate bolster, blanket, block, sandbag, eye pillow -- often multiples of each -- to ensure our practitioner has achieved maximum comfort.  Even if they say they feel fine, we are to continue to offer accommodations until the moment of pure Nirvana is reached.

Some of my sister yoginis in teacher training excel in this -- both as a teacher and as a practitioner.  I watched in awe as they created nests of absolute beauty, building a veritable Comfort Fort around their charge.   It was an image to behold (sorry I didn't take photos!).  And many seemed to sink into this experience with complete ease and appreciation.

As luck would have it, my final partner and I sort of sucked at this exercise.  We understood the theory behind it and we could support each hanging limb with the best of them.  We just didn't groove on the whole thing.  We both sort of chuckled and felt glad we'd partnered up because our motto became "good enough" when either being the teacher or the student in our pair.  We both agreed that a mountain of props feels "clutter-y" to us as a teacher and a bit claustrophobic as a practitioner.  We never totally achieved bliss.  We were glad not to be the frustrating partner of a classmate who was totally into it.

As is true of every aspect of yoga, we do what is right for us, finding our edge and settling into the pose that fits for our bodies.  This is one I'm still destined to find.

I hope my certification isn't in jeopardy from this admission. Test me on it!  I can do it well enough I think and my student will find a peaceful repose and come away refreshed and restored. 

As for me, I'll have a lot of props to put away as I dismantle the fort.

Namaste, donnajurene

Photo Credit:  Image via life.dailyburn.com

THE THIGH BONE'S CONNECTED TO THE KNEE BONE?

I have three photos of the inside of my husband's knee on my phone!  This is like a goldmine of personal information about anatomy of the knee joint.  So. Much. Fun!  I'd show you those instead of this diagram, but the surgeon who texted me the pix warned they might not be to everyone's liking.  I've learned that some people do look a bit green around the gills and need to look away when they see the muscles and tendons pulled away and the bones exposed, ends cut off of parts of the tibia and femur and the patella moved aside, to make room for placing the new joint.  My husband had total knee replacement surgery two weeks ago -- an old college football injury finally caught up with him and was interfering with his snowboarding obsession, hence: surgery.

I think the insides of people look a lot like the insides of any animal.  Bone, muscle, tendon, fascia, blood.  Chop up a whole chicken into parts -- you'll see something similar.  Seeing the photos reminded me of my husband's medical school years when we'd meet for lunch in the anatomy lab and I'd munch on my PBJ sandwich while quizzing him on anatomy as he poked around in his assigned cadaver.  This sounds weird and gross and it was, in retrospect, but at the time it was a normal part of our lives.  (I assure you, we were very respectful and appreciative of this person who ended up the object of a med. student's attentions; what a gift to science.)

In yoga teacher training our instructor has shared stories of her own experience with having the opportunity to do cadaver dissection.  She has advanced training in yoga therapy and her knowledge of how the skeleton, muscles, tendons, and facia interact is immense.  She is doing her best to teach us a rudimentary understanding, at the very least, of what is happening inside the body when we move through our asana practice on the mat.

I admit that of my teacher training texts the anatomy book is, to me, like reading a foreign language.  I am lost and have to go over and over the assigned reading, including getting tutoring from my husband.  But what I have learned is that every move we make, the way we hold our bodies, the way injuries and maladies impact our bodies has a profound effect on how we live and move.  I love learning that yoga therapy can help address and correct many of the misalignments we have habitually formed in our bodies.

I know so much in fact, that in sitting in on my husband's post-op home physical therapy sessions I was able to speak with a modicum of knowledge about how I felt he was "compensating" by raising his hip to get his knee flexed and elevated.  I even threw out the term PNF (proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation) as if I was intimately familiar with the therapeutic benefits of such an approach to muscle strengthening (instead of having heard of it for the first time only a few months ago.)  I realized that in spite of my overwhelm when pouring over my anatomy text, I'm actually learning a few things that are helpful.

What does all this have to do with YOU?  I just want to point out that yoga instructors who are well trained and knowledgable don't just pick out a pose from a list of cool pretezel-y body tricks; there is a reason for what they offer in class and how one pose should follow the next in a logical, body-friendly sequence.  They are aware of the internal workings of your body, the ways in which to best address your shoulder stiffness, your sore lower back, your tight hamstrings.  It may all seem random, but when done well, it's most definitely rooted in anatomical knowledge and expertise.

And good yoga teachers keep learning and growing in their professions.  I know I will need to keep up my anatomy studies to become as proficient and knowledgeable as I want to be.  That's OK.  I have some great photos to study right here on my iPhone.

Namaste,  donnajurene

OBSERVING OBSTACLES

As is so often true, I have to eat my words.

I have a habit of complaining about my resort yoga experiences -- those times when on vacation I decide to take a yoga class at the hotel or resort where we are staying.  They have mostly been disappointing experiences.

I recently returned from a trip to the Southeast visiting friends and family in Georgia and South Carolina.  We spent 5 days at a beachfront resort on Hilton Head -- a lovely barrier island about 2 hours from Charleston, primarily developed to appeal to golfers and beach goers.  It's a little "Stepford-y" for me -- too planned and too perfect.  Still, the place we stayed was lovely and the beach and warm Atlantic waters were heavenly.

One morning, I rallied at 7:30 a.m. for the Yoga at the Beach class, with low expectations.  Walking to the meeting place, I was sure:  A) I'd be the only person to show up, cuz really who gets up so early and out the door at that hour while vacationing?  B)  If there were other people there, they'd be  20 years old and wearing skimpy bikinis to show off their rockin' yoga bods;  C) The instructor would be the usual yoga robot, auto-piloting her way through the class with little enthusiasm.

I always get into trouble when I pre-judge.  A) There were 24 people at the class; B) Most were in the 40-70 ish category and almost all wore yoga pants or shorts and baggy T-shirts, like me (zero bikinis); C) The teacher was great!

And now that I am nearing the end of my 200 hour yoga teacher training, I know what makes a great teacher.  LOL  Well, I know how better to discern some things.  Still clueless about others, no doubt.  I loved how open and authentic she was and genuinely friendly and happy to see us.  She led us through a "beginner" class, assuring us that there would be a way for everyone to participate, no matter the level we were on.  One pose followed the next logically with attention to sequencing smoothly and safely and she offered modifications for the more challenging poses.  Her instruction was clear and precise and she actually seemed to be enjoying teaching.  The only critique I had was that she was hard to hear -- over the sound of the waves, the wind, and the calling gulls.  Rough duty!

I like her so much that when I found out she was the activities director and also taught the pool aerobics class, I went the next day.  What a kick!  Again, she was fun, funny, enthusiastic, and seemed to love her job.  There were about 20 of us -- this time in the age range of 50-80 I'd say, and we all had a blast splashing about together.  

In yoga philosophy, the true purpose of yoga is to be present in each moment, as the observer not attached to the experiences that come and go in life, to sit firmly in the seat of the true self unbound by human constructs.  But there is also the idea that we carry around a big bag of very human life experiences that shape how we view the world; these experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. cause obstacles to our remaining in the seat of the true self as that observer.  These obstacles, as described in the Yoga Sutras are called our Kleshas.  

The Kleshas that cause us to stumble along the path (very simply defined) are:  

Avidya (ignorance) meaning having a cloudy perception of what is real based on pre-conceived ideas

Asmita (false identity or ego) meaning who we believe ourselves to be often shadows and shapes how we respond to life circumstances

Raga (attachment) meaning our tendency to grasp at repeating positive experiences

Dvesha (aversion) meaning our tendency to avoid repeating any negative experiences

Abhinisvesha (fear) meaning ultimately the fear of annihilation or death and how this limits us

So, what's the lesson here?  Ahhh.....as always what we learn in yoga is that there is only this moment.  There is no past.  All those negative resort yoga experiences are over and done and only still exist as a function of memory -- not real in the moment -- so pre-judging was a form of avoiding a negative experience, or at least steeling myself for another one.  My Dvesha (aversion) Klesha was up and active.  Likewise, assuming that only positive experiences await now that I've had one, is clinging to a future that also does not exist and any grasping I do to ensure I can repeat that positive yoga experience is for naught.  The Raga (attachment) Klesha is already whispering in my ear.  

When we are aware of our thoughts, emotions, and motivations and how they can influence and limit us, we can stop, breathe, find our calm center at the seat of true self and move forward into a present moment that is free from emotional drama.  

Easy, right?!?  Of course not....which is why we call yoga a practice.  Keep it up!

Namaste,  donnajurene

Photo:  Early arrivals for Yoga at the Beach class

COME FLY WITH ME

Do you take breathing for granted?  Well, I sure hope so!  If we had to think about literally every breath we take, we'd have no time for any other thought!  Our body has a brilliant apparatus for giving us a break from being in charge of every minute of keeping us alive.  Wikipedia puts it this way:

"The autonomic nervous system is a control system that acts largely unconsciously and regulates bodily functions such as the heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, pupillary response, urination, and sexual arousal."

Whew!  Glad I don't have to consciously regulate all that.  My TV viewing would have to fall to maybe second on the list of daily priorities and with Game of Thrones in the final season, I really can't afford any distraction.

Still, thinking about breathing has surprising advantages.  Breath awareness really does bring us into the "now" of the moment.  In yoga classes we are often directed to become aware of the breath, to feel the air enter and exit the nostrils, to link breath with movement when doing asana practice.  While the poses help our bodies feel terrific at the end of practice, the attention to breath is also to thank for that aura of calm.

We are often told we can influence emotions with our breath.  If you are angry, anxious, excited, or stressed in any way, you may find yourself taking short, shallow breaths, moving air mostly in the upper chest.  This is because your sympathetic nervous system is getting ready for you to address whatever is stressing you -- the fight or flight (or freeze) response has kicked in.  Rapid breathing, rapid heart rate, bumped up blood pressure -- all that is good for short-term attention on survival.  It's not so good for long-term health and living a normal life.  For that we want our parasympathetic nervous system to come on board and calm the whole mess down.

To activate the parasympathetic nervous system we learn to take full, deep, "belly" breaths moving the diaphragm in a controlled manner to allow for a longer exhale than inhale.  If you are feeling stressed and turn your attention purposely to this type of breathing, before very long your stress will lessen and you will feel yourself calming, even happy.  Your heart rate will slow, your blood pressure will drop.  You will feel pretty chill.

Given that my life is thankfully pretty de-stressed overall, now that I'm retired, my kids grown, and things are going pretty well in general,  I tend to think I have little reason to spend much time in fight or flight mode.  But....

I am not a happy flyer.  I'm not so much afraid of crashing (although those thoughts do fleetingly enter my mind) as I'm afraid of the discomforts of air travel.  The whole experience is stressful for me:  getting to the airport on time, through TSA, onto the plane and into my (too cramped) seat.  The doors close and my claustrophobia kicks in, and I feel my heart rate jump, my breathing quicken, and my tummy roil as the anxiety-fueled nausea comes in waves.  I open my Kindle, put on my earphones, and try to block everything out.  I'm a mute seat partner, with every ounce of concentration going to keeping myself from freaking out.  (I bet you are just dying at this point to take a trip with me!  Imagine how my husband feels!)

On a recent trip home from Hawaii it was with some dismay that I heard the captain announce right after take-off that we could expect some significant turbulence over the Pacific about 2 hours out.  I immediately downed a Dramamine, pulled on my motion sickness wrist bands, and starting eating candied ginger to ward off any motion-induced nausea.  Sure enough at about that time in the flight the bumpiness started, then got worse, and worse, and worse....for about 30 minutes we rose and fell and swayed side to side.  It was NOT fun.  But here's what saved me:

I breathed.  I closed my eyes, gently laid my hands on my tray table, and breathed.  I breathed long belly-bulging inhales and much longer core-tightening exhales.  Over and over.  I breathed in....out....in....out...while distracting myself with a podcast playing in my ears, I breathed.  When I felt my shoulders tensing, I relaxed them.  Instead of fighting the motion, I just made my body as relaxed as I could and went with the flow of the turbulence.  Eventually we smoothed out and it was over.

After we landed a couple hours later, I thought back on the experience and could scarcely recall it, or at least didn't recall it as horrible.  It was as if I'd hypnotized myself in some way.  It was an odd realization, to have nurtured myself through what normally would have been a horrific experience just by breathing consciously.

We learn many things by practicing yoga.  I'm grateful breathing is one of them.©

Namaste,  donnajurene
Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com

INSTANT KARMA GONNA GET ME

I knew when I hit "post" after writing the previous blog post to this one that I felt a little queazy about it.  I am a nice person; I go way, way out of my way to ensure that I'm being thoughtful and considerate, even though imperfectly, I'm sure.  I'm only human; but I try.  But I've felt a bit uncomfortable about that post and how I critiqued a yoga instructor at the resort where I was vacationing.  I threw in some self-deprecating humor to temper my judgement and I really meant it when I said, I really know almost nothing about teaching a class by myself at this point in my training, so who am I to judge?  But judge I did.

Part of our homework this month in Yoga Teacher Training in the study of the Yoga Sutras is to delve more deeply into the Yamas and Niyamas.  These are the guides to living an ethical life and self reflection. The very first Yama is "ahimsa" or non-violence and compassion.

As I read, I felt myself growing more and more uncomfortable.  I'm about the furthest thing from "violent" you could find. I would never strike another person.  I will avoid, negotiate, and compromise my way through any conflicts with other people.  I also have a great deal of compassion.  I really and truly care about people.  Do I like everyone I meet?  Do I show up with casseroles every time someone has a crisis?  No, but neither do I not care about them, forget they are suffering, or turn away when asked for help.  Often I make notes of those who need extra caring and include them in my meditations.  They may never know, but I hope it helps on some energetic level.  At any rate, I think I'm pretty good at the non-violent and compassionate Yama.

Except.

In my reading I was reminded that "violence" can also be "meanness" and comes in the form of thoughts as well as deeds.  Harming can be as simple as making a negative judgement about someone.  In this age of social media, this can go so far as online bullying and lead to denigrating and name calling for some -- all the easier since people feel a sense of anonymity in making remarks about something someone has written online -- the writer hardly seems human.   Having only a part of (or none of!) a person's whole story can lead to making snap judgments, jokes, and assumptions that are far from true, far from accurate, far from non-harming -- indeed, far from compassionate.

I did that with the blog post.  It's fun to be funny, to point out absurdities, and to join in laughter that creates a bond with others in similar circumstances.  But is it fun to do that at another's expense?  Of course not.  I have no problem poking fun at myself, or teasing back and forth a friend or family member who understands and joins in, but writing about a virtual stranger and picking apart her job, her knowledge, her technique?  Not funny.  Not fair.  Not in keeping with an ethical life.

I could have said the instructor wasn't a good fit for me.  If asked why, I could state some examples, offering that she may come from a tradition I'm unfamiliar with, and that she may be just right for others.  End of story.  I didn't have to poke and gloat.

I guess this post is a bit of a mea culpa.  I hope we've all learned something here.  I know I have.

Namaste, donnajurene