A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE

I did something really whacky in class this week.  I unfurled my mat on the wrong side of the room!  Not that there's a "wrong" side and a "right" side, but there is MY side, which is (when facing the teacher) to the left of the center raised platform from which she teaches.  I have inhabited that side of the room for many months, maybe years.  In fact, for most of that time I claimed the same mat-sized spot on that side of the room.  I am a creature of comfort and habit.

But on Tuesday when I arrived just before class was to start, not only was "my" spot taken, so was nearly the whole side of the room full.  Oh sure, I could have squeezed in and made a few people move a smidge to accommodate me, but as luck would have it, I'm also on a kick of challenging my usual patterns of behavior and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to go wild and try the other side of the room!  Oh, I tell ya, I live life on the edge sometimes!

It was a new perspective for sure, being in the back row on the opposite side of the room.  It was like using my left hand to brush my teeth; a little disorienting, challenging, and strangely thrilling to practice that which is familiar in a way that is not.

It reminded me of another time many months ago when I came to class not ready to try something new, but forced to by circumstance.  First, "my" spot was taken and I had to move back a row.  I was annoyed…didn't that new woman know she was taking the place I had occupied for weeks???  Then I realized the teacher I thought would be there was not, and a sub was taking the class that day.  The sub played unfamiliar music.  She didn't speak loudly enough (in my judgement) to be heard easily over the seemingly roaring sound of the cooling system fan.  Plus, I do believe every heavy truck in Snohomish was shifting gears in a steady caravan right outside the studio doors that morning.  I was grumpy, judgmental, distracted…angry even.  I left after class still grumbling to myself.

Does getting lost in expectations ever happen to you?  Some people are just naturally "go with the flow" types; I'm not generally one of them.  My quest for ease and familiarity, safety and comfort, often leave me grasping for an outcome I really have absolutely no control over.  One of my life's spiritual quests is to find peace and acceptance no matter where I go or what circumstances I might find in my travels through life.  Equanimity is my Holy Grail.  Yoga is my path for seeking it.  Every time I can practice being uncomfortable and challenged, on my own terms, is one step closer to feeling secure when discomfort comes without my bidding.  Judgment and anger are just reminders that grasping and clinging to the outcome of an expectation is futile.  Better to take a deep breath and get a new perspective.

Anyone want to join me on the other side of the room? ©

Namaste....donnajurene

Photo Source: Yoga Circle Studio