GIVE UP ALL HOPE

I had a funny, light-hearted little essay in mind for this week's post, but I've lost interest in that since last Friday.  That was the day we took our turn in the spotlight as yet another school shooting happened in our own "backyard", in Marysville, Washington.  The folks in surrounding communities are still reeling from the tragedy of three teens dead, two still in critical condition, and one, thankfully, recovering.  The entire town is covered in red and white ribbons, school colors, united in grief and support.

So many of us in the surrounding communities have been touched by this event -- many of us know families and kids who have direct connections to the school, but even if we don't, this is something that has happened to ALL of us just by virtue of proximity.  We are all impacted by the response -- whether it be well-meaning and tender or judgmental and angry.

We each get to decide, I guess, what our response is, especially on a deep and private level.  One's religious and spiritual beliefs can provide a balm.   For me, the practices of meditation and yoga bring a sense of calm and order to that which is noisy and chaotic -- true both in "normal" everyday life and especially true when something so outrageously out of the ordinary happens.  I have sat and quieted my mind often over the past several days, lighting candles of remembrance and support for the families of the shooter and the victims, for the families I know, and for those I don't.

I turned to Pema Chodron's book, "When Things Fall Apart" for wisdom this morning, expecting to find words of encouragement and hope.  Instead, I found the advice to "let go of all hope".  Puzzled, I kept reading:  "Giving up hope is encouragement to stick with yourself, to make friends with yourself, to not run away from yourself, to return to bare bones, no matter what's going on.  Fear of death is the background of the whole thing.  It's why we feel restless, why we panic, why there's anxiety.  But if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship with our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death."

Again, we are reminded that it is only this very moment, yes, this one…this breath…that is real.  Regret is in the past and hope is in the future.  Living NOW breaks through the illusion that our minds can control events.  I find something comforting in that after all, even if I want to argue with the logic, to grieve the senselessness of what happened.

The other day I actually wrote a post on my other blog http://myviewfromhere-donna.blogspot.com entitled: "Choose Hope" because that is my default mode.  But in reading "When Things Fall Apart" this morning I was introduced to this different perspective.  Still, Pema doesn't say not to feel anything; she says to feel it all deeply, with every ounce of attentiveness we can give our experience in this moment, then to also realize the next moment will be a new experience…so let it all go and be open to what comes.

Circumstances have conspired to keep me from the Yoga studio since last Friday, but I am eager to return there tomorrow to sit with my teacher, be in community with the other students, breathing  together in shared focus and shared commitment to bringing calm presence into our lives through our Yoga practice.

The peace I feel there, the time we share together, the love that lives in our hearts, cannot be defeated.  This is your moment.  Live and Love. ©

Namaste...donnajurene

11/12/14 UPDATE:  Since this was posted, the teen who was recovering has been released from the hospital and is home.  The two teens who had remained in critical condition have both died.  Five teens dead; one recovering.  The sadness, resilience, questions, and determination go on.